A Beacon of Hope

Natalie Tyndall // UGA Grad Student

Gen Z: The Anxious generation-- that is what the world refers to us as. Studies show that we are the loneliest, most depressed generation thus far. While this is easy to see if you step on UGA's campus, what does this mean for us as Christians? Is it okay for Christians to be anxious, even depressed? And what role does the Church play in being the hands and feet of Jesus to a generation paralyzed by fear and hopelessness? All these questions flooded my mind during my freshman year of college as I became stuck in endless anxiety spirals and stuck in deep depression, just weeks before I spent a summer in Boston. 

If you have been around Watty, you may have heard the buzz about Boston. College students and high schoolers spend spring breaks there, even full summers, serving the local church plants. Why Boston? In this city, only 3% claim to be Believers, and it is home to many refugees and international students. I like to think fondly of my summer in Boston as the Miracle Summer; it was a time when the Lord intervened at my darkest moment. However, it was stained with tears of asking the Lord for deliverance, questioning His goodness, and fearing Him to be someone other than I knew Him to be. Panic seized my body on Sundays, making me shake when I tried to abide in Him through His word. My team petitioned the Lord for peace and deliverance, staying up till dawn at war for my soul. About halfway through the summer, breakthroughs began. The panic attacks lessened and hope began stirring in my hopeless soul. Through prayer, counseling, and fellowship, I was reunited with the truth that my Father loves me and is delighted to give me His kingdom (Luke 12:32). Praise God for His body, that He never leaves us to do anything on our own. 

I’d like to tell you that after my time in Boston, I never felt the grip of depression again and that was the last panic attack I have ever had. However, that is far from the truth. The past 3 years have been a season of long-suffering through intense mental health battles, the first of which the Lord won in Boston. Joshua 4 instructs us to erect markers for our lives of the Lord’s faithfulness, and that summer stands as a sign the Lord will always come through. On this side of Glory, we relish His goodness and praise Him through our earthly pains. The song He has given me to sing throughout this season is Psalm 40. 

I waited patiently for the Lord;

 He inclined to me and heard my cry.

He drew me up from the pit of destruction,

 out of the miry bog,

and set my feet upon a rock,

 making my steps secure.

He put a new song in my mouth,

 a song of praise to our God.

Many will see and fear,

 and put their trust in the Lord.

Despite everything, He hears our cries, and He delivers. For a while, I doubted the Lord would ever pull me out of the pit of destruction because maybe He was just not finished working on me. Hallelujah that He not only finishes what He starts but is good to His children. The rest of college was spent in hours of counseling, watching the Lord break through trauma, redeeming it to tell the story of His salvation from the miry bog. Although I was not always patient in my waiting, He was faithful. 

How fitting that the Lord would use the place where He first showed me His miracle-working power to call me back to Boston, answering His call for me to go. As a 9th grader, I felt the Lord place a calling on my life for missions. My pastor encouraged us to put our ‘yes’ on the table, without knowing what the Lord might ask us. I often struggled these past 4 years wondering how the pain and sadness would be a part of my ‘yes’. Would the Church count me out because I struggled with mental health? Why would God use someone riddled with anxiety, depression, and obsession disorders to advance His Kingdom? It is because that is how His Kingdom works. If He chose the most lowly to carry His son into this world, how much more will He use me and you--the anxious generation?! (John 14:12). 

If you had told me at the end of GenSend that I would move back in three years, I would not have believed you. This move is only possible through the healing and strength the Lord has provided. Throughout college, I have kept this verse near to my heart, to remind myself there is a purpose in why we suffer: “That they may see and know, and may consider and understand together, that the hand of the Lord has done this, the Holy One of Israel has created it.” Isaiah 41:20. The Lord has done a victorious work and is continuing to heal me through obeying this call to Boston. I pray that through sharing my story, your hope in His wonder working power would be renewed--He is more than able to do the same in your life. If you or someone you know is in a similar season, I am praying the Lord would shine HOPE in the darkest of places. The Lord NEVER counts us out of His will & desire that none should perish! His power is perfected in weakness! So, may we rejoice all the more because He does nothing in vain. My hope is that you would know these truths, and we would see Him transform us from the anxious generation to one emboldened by Him. 

As the Church, we have a job to love and care for those in our body. The reality of our broken world is that some are always struggling and sharing in the sufferings of Christ. Here are some practical steps to take toward healing and loving the Body: 

If you are struggling with mental health: 

• Talk to a trusted friend or mentor 

• Consider talking to a professional (the church has great recommendations!)

• Meditate on the promises of God by memorizing scripture

• Find a song to sing this season

If your community is struggling: 

• Fight for them daily in prayer 

• Help meet their visible needs (food, exercise, fellowship)

• Be a willing and listening ear 

• Practice empathy 

• Do not give up on them! Be a consistent presence in their life!

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Natalie Tyndall is a grad student at the University of Georgia, continuing her education in Elementary Education and Spanish. She serves at Watkinsville in kids and youth after serving as a missions intern for 2 years. After graduating from UGA in December 2023, she felt the Lord leading her to move to Boston and join a Watkinsville church plant, Kings Hill. She will be moving to Boston in August to be a 2nd grade teacher in Boston Public Schools. She enjoys walks, coffee, hanging with friends, and playing with her cat, Kirk. 

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The Peace in Provision

Jake Lawlor // UGA Student & Student Ministry Intern

Yvon Chouinard is one of the most famous rock climbers in history and the founder of Patagonia. While Patagonia is surely his more famous and recognizable career achievement, he spent his years prior to becoming a world-famous entrepreneur and environmentalist scaling some of the most famous cliffs in the world, namely El Capitan in Yosemite National Park with its tallest wall measuring around 3,000 feet tall, twice the size of the Empire State Building. Like most of you reading this, I am no expert in rock climbing. However, I do understand that Yvon Chouinard knows a thing or two about facing fearsome, treacherous experiences. This is why I find it so fascinating that the man who made a career out of climbing 3,000-foot granite walls once said,

“Fear of the unknown is the greatest fear of all”.

I personally wouldn’t consider myself a very fearful person in the standard understanding of things people are afraid of. I love heights, I’ve flown on plenty of airplanes, and I’m fine around spiders and snakes. However, this quote from Chouinard expresses a shared sentiment far deeper about us: we share a common fear of not knowing things. This is observed on very small scales in our lives, like the feeling of being a social outsider who is missing out on an event or a joke or the grave feeling of studying for an exam where the concepts you read feel foreign and out of your control. It can also be seen on a much larger scale, like the feelings of doubt and uncertainty that plague thoughts about your future. As people, we want to know things, to be in the loop, and to feel like we’ve got things under control and a lot of the anxieties that we face are rooted in this fear of the unknown.

Jesus, while teaching His disciples how to pray, very briefly but powerfully addresses this fear. In Luke 11:2-4, focussing specifically on verse 3, Luke writes:

“And he said to them, “When you pray, say:

‘Father, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come. Give us each day our daily bread, and forgive us our sins, for we ourselves forgive everyone who is indebted to us. And lead us not into temptation.’”

In Jesus’ model to His disciples on how they should pray, the first request made to God by His children is for “daily bread”. This is clearly metaphorical, Jesus wasn’t just hungry during this specific teaching and He knew that bread within the context of Scripture carries an image of provision, of being well-fed and having what you need.

In the original Greek manuscripts of this passage, along with the recording in Matthew 6 which quotes Jesus the same way, the word used for “daily” is “epiousion”. Although this word is commonly translated in our Bibles to say “daily”, its meaning is unclear because the ancient Greek manuscripts of Luke 11 and Matthew 6 are the only two texts in the entirety of our preserved records of the language that use this word. The word “daily” in the ancient Greek language has its own word, “hemera”, which is used in other New Testament passages, so many scholars have challenged our common translation of this verse and believe that more is being communicated here.

Through centuries of studying the history and context of this word, we have seen different proposed meanings for this word that give us an even greater understanding of what Jesus is teaching us through this prayer. This request to God has been understood by different people as being for supersubstantial bread (something that is above our average material needs), bread that is necessary for existence, bread for the future, or bread that doesn’t run out. All of these ideas and translations point, combined with the image that bread provides in Scripture, point to a simple declaration that Jesus wants us to acknowledge in our prayers:

The Lord provides.

What a beautiful assurance we have as people who know the Lord and live in His will; that He has given us all that we need and will continue to do so! This verse in Jesus’ model for our prayers allows us to acknowledge before God that, as long as He is providing for us (Philippians 4:19, He is!), we have all that we need. It’s an acknowledgment that the God who designed the entire universe determined that what you have today, which includes all of your present blessings, the obstacles still in the way, and the things that remain unknown, is what you need. And into the future, the things that are unknown, uncontrolled, and yet to come, have also been set out by a very loving, intentional Father who determined that it is what’s best for you, even if the outcome is far from your initial hopes/expectations. And the best part is, what’s asked of us in that process is just to seek and love Him along the way (Matthew 6:33)! We aren’t meant to provide for ourselves, but luckily for us, we have a God who wants to provide for us and invites us to trust Him in that process.

Over the past year or so, this idea has been so prevalent in my walk with Jesus and, as someone who enjoys the feeling of having things under control, has tested me in ways I never have been before. This idea is WAY easier to say than it is to live out, trust me, I’m aware. This way of understanding our relationship with God requires an amount of trust that we as people would almost never reserve for things of the world. However, when this knowledge relocates from its space in the mind to the heart, where it dictates your attitude and outlook, there is peace. We are promised by God that He is working all things out for our good and His glory, we can build that trust by acknowledging it daily.

Take some time today to read Matthew 6:25-34. Listen to Passion’s The Lord Will Provide. Let Jesus’ assurance to you that God is providing and will continue to provide fall freshly on your heart. No matter what season of life you are in right now or what that “bread” looks like in your life, my prayer for you is that you will remember:

Your Father knows your needs, He provides for creatures of creation that are far less prized to Him than you, and He will do the same for you.

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Jake Lawlor is a fourth-year student at the University of Georgia. He is studying Religion with two minor studies in Communications and Leadership and Service hoping to work in ministry as a pastor. He is a third-year intern who has served in kids and is currently in student ministry. He loves all things sports, fishing, and spending time in community.

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Let the Ladder Fall

Natalie Stembel // UGA Student

A few weeks ago I was struggling with our inability to do anything without committing sin, trying to keep the law by focusing all my attention on not breaking it. The spiral went south fast, and within hours my friends noticed I hadn't been saying anything. I chose my words carefully and told them how I couldn’t come up with anything I could do that wasn’t sin. If I thought about texting a friend a word of encouragement, I worried that I was doing it out of a place of making myself feel like a better friend. If I woke up early to get more done, I was stressed about prioritizing work over the Lord. If I spent that extra time with the Lord, I was worried I wasn’t serious enough about the things I needed to get done and in turn stewarding my time in a way that didn’t honor Him.

There seemed to be no way to win this battle. It was one I would come to learn was of the enemy and his agenda to steal and kill and destroy. He stole from me intimacy with the Lord and turned my relationship with Him into one of works and earning my way. I began to think that I could do enough, be enough, and strive enough to be a sufficient sacrifice for my own salvation. Then, he killed my ability to see grace as something wonderful, more than that, something I needed to be counted worthy. He tried to cover the truth of the gospel with the lies that while maybe His grace is sufficient for other people, it wasn’t for me, it couldn’t cover what I’ve done. As if to say, if only they knew. And finally, he destroyed my desire to grow in my relationship with the Lord, seeing it as a ladder that extended through fog, never-ending and positioned so that I could only see enough to where I stayed in the thoughts of, You’re almost there. Strive once more. You’re so close to the end. Of course, I never was. He knew this.

The enemy’s goal for your life isn’t to make you worship him but to make you worship yourself. And that’s exactly what I was doing. I was prioritizing what I could do, the friend I could be, and the grades I could get instead of living out what I have known to be true for so long. As faithful Christians, our lives with God should look more like what John Mark Comer says: “a crucible to burn our souls clean and forge us into people of love like Jesus” and not “a private, therapeutic self-help spirituality that is, honestly, just a Christianized version of radical individualism.”

So what can life look like when we stop believing these lies and let go of our white-knuckled-death-grip on the ladder we think brings healing?

Refer back to when I said the enemy comes only to steal and kill and destroy. While it’s true that I’ve seen it happen in my own life, this specific wording comes from a verse in the 10th chapter of the Gospel of John. But the hope we have in Jesus means that the verse does not end there. It continues, saying, “I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” Other translations may say, “and have it to the full.”

This is a beautiful promise, but it can be hard to know how to live it out in our lives. Especially when it’s the enemy’s full time job to make us doubt it, and he loves working overtime.

It was the liar who convinced me of this ladder and The Truth that would break me free from it. Look at Psalm 23.

Psalm 23, verse 2. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. So no, the Lord does not sit back with a smile on His face as I climb up, and wipe sweat off my face, pausing only to sit in my shame as I muster up the energy to start again. The Lord makes me lie down in lush fields and leads me to calm waters. The life the Lord wants for us is worded wonderfully by an elderly peasant in the eighteenth century, when asked what he was doing at the church for hours. “I look at Him, He looks at me, and we are happy.” This is the opposite of what the father of lies wants for you.

Verse 3. “He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name sake.” The definition of restore is to “return to a former condition” so David is telling us that the Lord will return our souls to their former condition, one where we believe the Father of Truth, one where we see our relationship with Him as sitting in a grassy field, enjoying one another's company. Walking together. The paths of righteousness he mentions are a promise against the fear of sinning. When we are spending time with Him, in His word, in community with other believers, we can trust that He will lead us in paths of righteousness. Our focus should be on knowing Him, not just doing the right thing. If we care more about being seen as good or perfect than how well we know our Father, we’ve missed the point. And we can trust Him that as our desire for the true, honorable, lovely, and pure things mentioned in Philippians 4:8 increases, we will be formed more into the likeness of Christ. And with our sanctification will come a desire to sin less and less.

Verse 5. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. A commentary I love says this about verse 5, “though surrounded by enemies, I sit down to this table with confidence, knowing that I shall feast in perfect security.” So when it says my cup overflows, this is what the Lord means by life and life to the full. In fact, more than full! Runneth over!

Verse 6. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever. It doesn’t say surely fear of failing or the guilt of imperfection shall follow me. It doesn’t say surely lies of the enemy and feeling like I’m never doing enough shall follow me. It doesn’t say reaching and striving and climbing and climbing shall follow me.

No. It says goodness and mercy. And for all the days of my life, goodness and mercy shall follow me. So instead of living on that prideful ladder of a shame-filled works-based salvation, we shall dwell in the house of the Lord. (Forever.)

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Natalie Stembel is a 4th year at the University of Georgia studying Cognitive Science and minoring in American Sign Language. She chose UGA mostly for the football scene. She started coming to Watty her freshman year and interned with worship, spent the summer in South Asia, and learned how to live everyday life on mission in Boston last summer. She loves scripture memory, writing, and pickleball.

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BeReal

Brentsen Wyatt // UGA Student & Worship Intern

So, here’s the deal. I started writing for this blog post in February, and ended up with a 7 page document about our identity as Christians and how that affects how we live. I turned it in, and a week later Owen came out with his masterpiece that said it better in fewer words! So, back to the drawing board. I was wracking my brain to come up with something that would make me seem super-spiritual, “you should have been an English major”, “Brentsen has such a way with words”, those kind of vibes (‘twas my pride talking). I kept thinking and thinking, and had some good ideas, but none of them felt right. I couldn’t sleep the night before our Thursday Easter service, and it finally came to me. I need to swallow my pride and just be real with y’all. BeReal. Sounds like a cheesy youth group sermon series title if you ask me, but regardless, it works.

What does it mean to be real? Clearly, our generation craves authenticity in this world of fake personas and carefully-curated social media posts. We may deny it, but every single one of us has seen a picture or post and wanted it to be you, even if just once for a second. The app BeReal is a huge example of the desperate need for authenticity. Honestly, it is a brilliant idea. But BeReal is only an app on your phone. Again I ask, what does it mean to be real in real life?

There are two facets to this; the first is honesty, and the second is truth. Let’s discuss honesty first. Proverbs 12:22 says: “Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight.” So clearly, God doesn’t want us to lie. Pretty simple right? Kind of. When Jesus came, he took it a step further when he said in Matthew 22: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ Is it loving to your neighbor to be deceptive, even if you don’t technically lie? Is it loving to your neighbor if you say one thing but feel another? He shifted the standard from simply following the rule to not lie, to obtaining a mindset of honesty and transparency.

I know I have definitely struggled with this. It is so easy as a people pleaser and introvert to use what I call “technical truths” (things that are technically true but out of its proper context) to avoid conflict or being dishonest about how I feel to theoretically save someone else’s feelings. And it’s not necessarily wrong to try to make people happy or avoid conflict, the problem occurs when you start to deceive others (or even yourself) into believing things that aren’t true. Like it says in James 5:12: “But above all, my brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or by any other oath, but let your “yes” be yes and your “no” be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation.” This can be a lot harder for some of us than others, but being confident in ourselves enough to draw lines is very important if we want to mature as adults and as Christians. And when I say draw lines, I don’t just mean drawing lines for ourselves. I mean drawing lines in our actions, lives, even conversations on the reality of truth. We can’t bend to what this world says is true, but we must stand firm on what is actually true.

I know I have definitely struggled with this. It is so easy as a people pleaser and introvert to use what I call “technical truths” (things that are technically true but out of its proper context) to avoid conflict or being dishonest about how I feel to theoretically save someone else’s feelings. And it’s not necessarily wrong to try to make people happy or avoid conflict, the problem occurs when you start to deceive others (or even yourself) into believing things that aren’t true. Like it says in James 5:12: “But above all, my brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or by any other oath, but let your “yes” be yes and your “no” be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation.” This can be a lot harder for some of us than others, but being confident in ourselves enough to draw lines is very important if we want to mature as adults and as Christians. And when I say draw lines, I don’t just mean drawing lines for ourselves. I mean drawing lines in our actions, lives, even conversations on the reality of truth. We can’t bend to what this world says is true, but we must stand firm on what is actually true.

And so, where does that leave us? In the pursuit of truth. In addition to pursuing truth in our own lives, we as Christians (representatives of Christ here on earth), must be champions of the truth. Psalm 96:3 says “Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous works among all the peoples!”. If Jesus is the truth, we need to spread truth to every corner of the earth. Even if that doesn’t mean you are called to be an overseas missionary, you can spread the gospel to every corner of the earth right here in Athens. There are thousands of international students at UGA who are still unaware of the truth of the Gospel. I may be telling this to myself more than anybody else, but we can’t only live in our comfortable Christian friend group bubbles and cliques, which is so easy to do especially with roommates who go to church with you, if you are serving at the church all the time, you are deeply involved in a campus ministry, etcetera. We need to invite non-believers to play pickleball with us, share the gospel in line at Barbs, be a witness in your sorority or fraternity.

To sum it up, being real is being honest, being loving, being in love with our Savior, being confident in truth, and being champions of truth. We need to be transparent, draw lines in the sand, know the ultimate Truth and pursue it, all with the purpose of glorifying His name and spreading the Good News. Once we do that, we will start to become the realest versions of ourselves, which is exactly what we were made for.  

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Brentsen Wyatt is a 3rd year at UGA, Majoring in Management Information Systems with a certificate in Music Business. As well as his role as a Worship intern, he works as a Communications Specialist at the Georgia Vocational Rehabilitation Agency, as well as produces, writes, and releases music for himself and others. In his free time, if not working on music or cinematography projects, he enjoys watching movies and long walks on the beach.

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The Believer’s Destiny

Owen Furr // UGA Student & Kids/College Ministry Intern

I volunteered to write the blog post on February 7th, full of excitement for the words to come and the ideas I would share with you guys. Here I am, March 17th, three days before the blog is due, fumbling with the words to describe the beauties our insurmountable God has taught me over the past year. I’ve wrestled with what to share, and what most of those reading would resonate with. I concluded that I can only speak from my story, and to the few of you (or maybe many of you) who resonate with it, may the Lord speak life into you in new and profound ways.

My story of the past year has been one of confusion. I was confused how someone, namely myself, could serve the Church in so many ways yet feel so distant from a God who claimed to send his one son to die for us who did not deserve it. I was confused how I could “pursue” a loving God in such “religious” ways, yet not feel an ounce of the love He claimed to have for me. I felt the pains of prayer that had gone unanswered, and the silence of God who I thought was living. I was lost and painfully aware of my brokenness.

I had grown to worship a God who was more concerned with what I was doing than who I was becoming. The God I thought I knew was more of a constructed deity I had pieced together than he was a relational being who knew me deeply and invited me to deeply know Him. I had begun to measure the quality of my faith on how good my quiet times were, or on how many times a week I was serving at the church. Ultimately, it broke me.

The Lord was faithful amid it all and guided me through some hard questions I had to ask myself and allow for others to speak into. On that note, I want to thank a lot of the guys in my life, y’all know who you are! Thanks for giving me the space to work through the tough questions.

I do not have the word count to tackle all my questions, but there is one question that specifically comes to mind at the center of all other questions I asked myself.

Question: What is our purpose?

So often, we tend to view our lives as a sort of broken waiting period we must get through until we get to the end, either Heaven or Hell. We are so focused on the ending of our lives while Jesus is so focused on our current lives. Our current lives are not just a period of 70-80 years of hunkering down until we go on to eternity. Our current lives allow for a glimpse into the Heaven that Jesus promises us. We can experience a form of Heaven on Earth in the ways that we relate to the Lord, the ways we commune with others, and the ways we pursue Christlikeness.

As a church, it is so easy to perceive our purpose in life as a list of Christianese tasks, such as sharing at Tate once a week from 3-4, serving in kids or youth ministry once a week, telling someone the Gospel every now and again. What if these tasks are not our purpose but instead means through which we achieve our purpose and are molded more and more into the image of our beautiful savior Jesus Christ?

What if our lives are not a list of things to do, but instead a person to become?

When we think of purpose, we need to see it through the lens of why we live our lives in the way we do. We find our answer in Romans 8:29- “For those he foreknew (which is us) he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.”

We are “to be conformed to the image of his Son…” We are to grow in our Christlikeness. We are to grow in the ways that we love the one anothers in our lives. We are to stake our lives on Christ and in turn His greatest commandments: “’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all you mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself’” (Matthew 22:36-40). We are to run the race with endurance and l trust that at the end of the race is a Savior with His arms wide open ready to receive us as any good good Father would.

My question to all of you is how are you growing more like Christ?

A.W. Tozer writes, “What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us.” Tozer reminds us that how we see God directly influences the ways we live. If you view God as a God of judgement, you in turn will become a person of judgement. If you view God as a God of anger, you in turn will become a person of anger. If you view God as a God who holds a record of wrongs, you in turn will become a person who holds a record of wrongs.

As the Singaporean contemplative Hwee Hwee Tan puts it: “you become what you contemplate.”

In my story, I was not contemplating the love of Jesus that in turn leads me into love. I was contemplating the things I had to do, the ways I was serving, the ways I wanted people to perceive me, the ways I fell short, all of the ways I was not becoming like Jesus. Ultimately, I was not becoming more like Jesus in any sense of the imagination. I could pull off the bit, make my life look pretty to those looking in, but my heart was so full of malice, spite, hurt, envy, and pain for the ways I was looking for God but could not find Him.

When I think of viewing God as a loving Father, I am reminded by Tyler Staton in his book Praying Like Monks, Living Like Fools that, “our hearts are Peter Pan-forever young, never growing up. We never outgrow the need to be reminded by the day, by the hour, sometimes even by the minute, ‘You’ll always love me no matter what, though, Dad.’ Because the second we forget that, the second it’s diluted into a trope or held in the intellect while a story of our sufficiency or control or performance lives in our bones, our lives unravel, and so does our faith.”

Your Father loves you, and Heaven on Earth is found in dwelling in the love of God day in and day out. It is found in knowing that for those in Jesus, there is no condemnation. No mistake, no flaw, nothing can ever separate you from the love of God in Jesus. You will never be more loved than you are right now by our Father, and the finality of that love was sealed for us all on the Cross in Jesus Christ.

This past week at Tribe, Kaitlin Minter shared a piece she wrote that was such a sweet exhortation to live like followers of Jesus. I had to get special permission to break the word count, but I promise it’s worth it, and nothing in our lives will bring more fulfillment than being more conformed to our savior day in and day out. As N.T. Wright wrote in his work on Paul- “love is the believer’s destiny.”

“You do not belong to darkness.

You do not belong to your past.

You do not belong to your future.

You do not belong to disappointment or failure.

You do not belong to your grades.

You do not belong to gossip or rumors.

You do not belong to social media.

You do not belong to divorce.

You do not belong to a relationship.

You do not belong to your addiction.

You do not belong to porn.

You do not belong to grief or anxiety or heartbreak or depression.

You do not belong to your enemies and you DO NOT belong to sin

You are a child of light, so live like it”

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Owen is a fourth year student at the University of Georgia. He is studying Elementary Education, and hopes to one day be a principal! He is a third year intern and has served predominantly in the kids and college ministries. His hobbies are anything sports related (except pickleball, sorry), reading, and hanging out with friends!

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The Intimacy of Honesty

Kaitlyn Lambert // UGA Student & Community Outreach Intern

The other night, I was driving around the back-roads of Watkinsville with a friend, and I burned a whole quarter-tank of gas. I didn’t have a GPS up, it was past ten, and I was taking random turns while rambling every thought I was having–for like, two hours straight.

She sat in my passenger seat, making thoughtful comments every now and again, but mostly listening in the cool dark of my car. I cannot impress upon you how much I was rambling. I was coming off a hard week, bouncing from topic to topic, throwing things off my chest. I had so many thoughts and feelings. Some of them unfair, many of them human, and all of them as raw and unresolved as they are before I verbally process them. Ill-practiced, awkward, uncomfortable.

At eighteen, this would have been one of those conversations I never would have had with anyone except God Himself. At nineteen, I would have cherry-picked the more palatable aspects of my struggles and spoon-fed them to a select panel. At twenty, I would have gone on a walk by myself and tried to run away from my own brain. Twenty-one, I would have probably had this conversation. But I would have woken up ashamed and embarrassed of proving my imperfection to another human being. Trying to deal with my own humanness between the Lord and I alone, not wanting others to know me as I know me.

At twenty-two, I shared with a friend my feelings, and they were not pretty. While missing turns and fumbling words, I said the kind of silly things you say when it’s winter, and you’re tired, and you feel your emotions so deeply, before you have a good night’s sleep and breakfast and realize that it’s not as world-ending as it felt before. My friend listened, spoke God over me. And after, I dropped her off at her house, went back to my own, and woke up to a new day with even better mercies. All for the cost of a quarter-tank. I was already feeling and thinking. Just then, another human being knew about it, and in turn knew me. And loved me even more. All for the cost of vulnerability.

In 2013, the New York Times published Tim Kreider’s famous op-ed, “I Know What You Think of Me.” In it, he talks about insecurities and other people’s witness of those insecurities, of “loving someone despite their infuriating flaws and essential absurdity.”

What’s most relevant here is the end. “Years ago,” writes Kreider, “a friend of mine had a dream about a strange invention; a staircase you could descend deep underground, in which you heard recordings of all the things anyone had ever said about you, both good and bad. The catch was, you had to pass through all the worst things people had said before you could get to the highest compliments at the very bottom. There is no way I would ever make it more than two and a half steps down such a staircase, but I understand its terrible logic: if we want the rewards of being loved we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known.”

We, who are wounded and naked and broken little things, cannot know honest love without honest life. Life in community, life in the sharing of burdens and the fracture of our own pride. We are messes of our own making. We time our jokes poorly and no one laughs. We leave our plates behind in the kitchen and make our roommates clean it up. We dance very badly and don’t always know the lyrics to songs we’re singing. We don’t ask how our friends are doing nearly often enough. And we have, at times, been hurt by people in gut-wrenching ways and are weak enough to need a car ride to fix it.

To head back to the Bible, I think often of the heart-break of Genesis 3:9-10: “But the LORD God called to the man and said to him, ‘Where are you?’And he said, ‘I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.’”

What always gets me here is that their nakedness existed whether they hid or not. And God knew about their nakedness whether they hid or not. But they hid from God and, paradoxically, from each other.

There are no fig leaves between us. Not truly. We either walk down the staircase of “being known,” or we linger uncomfortably near the door-way, and either way we are not invulnerable. Our nakedness exists regardless. Our sin, our mistakes, our personality quirks, our rough edges, our goofy phrases, our bad outfits, our lateness to church services, our lazy love, our hypocrisy and cognitive-dissonance and forgetfulness and inescapable humanness in what it means to be a believer that is sanctified every day until death or resurrection–it’s all there, but bleeding us out in the hiding. A horrible, losing game of masquerade that no one has ever won.

This is a lesson I have learned bitterly. Unwillingly, even now. I ask myself a lot these days, What do I gain by not being honest? And I’ve yet to come up with an answer that matches how much easier it is to breathe when you just…share what you’re struggling with. Love with the boldness of a kid. Confess your mistakes and let other people give you grace. Get in the car, go on the drive, and stop making a home out in the hidden places.

Paul begged the church at Corinth for vulnerability too: “Dear, dear Corinthians, I can’t tell you how much I long for you to enter this wide-open, spacious life. We didn’t fence you in. The smallness you feel comes from within you. Your lives aren’t small, but you’re living them in a small way. I’m speaking as plainly as I can and with great affection. Open up your lives. Live openly and expansively!” (2 Corinthians 6:11-13).

Right now, God is teaching me how to widen my heart and open up my life. To my friends, to my family, to my church, to neighbors and baristas and drivers that sit next to me at the red-light and watch me air-drum to Imagine Dragons even though Imagine Dragons is approximately a decade off-trend. (I’m embarrassed. But I drum anyway.)

Right now, this “wide-open, spacious life” is for us as image-bearers.

Lord, let us enter it.

I hope to meet you there, authentic and real and with all your heart on the line.

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Kaitlyn Lambert is a Community Outreach intern at Watty. She just graduated from UGA with a degree in English and is now pursuing her Master in Public Affairs at UGA. Her favorite hobbies are playing pickleball, writing poetry, and talking theology. As a part-time job, she woodworks and likes to imagine Jesus woodworking too. Last year she went to 7 national parks in 14 days, and her 2024 goal is to go to the Hawaiian National Parks!

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Where Is Your Identity?

Grant Miller // UGA Student & College Intern

Hey there! My name is Grant Miller (but I also go by many other names… including but certainly not limited to… Grass, Gravy, Garganchuon, Grint, Gregos, Grunter, Grade, Gross, Gradient, Gerald, Grizzle, Gragante, G Man, G Money, Big G, George, Giuseppe, Gourd, Great, Goat, Green, Gront, Ferris, Grindstone, Grantavious, Gazpacho, Google, Groog, Lrant, Egregious, Garbanzo Bean, El Guapo, Gordo, BobBob, Brotato Chip, Granter the Enchanter, G Swizzle, Jared, Gragananant, Greed, Gelato, Gork, Grag, Grant-Cracker, Grantnite, Gargantuan Sauce, Garage, Gregus, Grungle, Garent, Gorgeous, Grantasaurus Rex, Grunk, Grantamos, Grey’s Anatomy, Grnt, Grantamus, Grantholomeu, Lugnut, Granty, GDP (or Grant Domestic Product), Grantpa, Gillette, Gorgenant, Grab, Greta Thunberg, Grunt, Gragnart, Grantalones, Grudge, Grung, Garganatius, Grungus, Gorgonzola, Garnt, Gernt, Gripe, Gregory, Greg, and Phil)… 

If you really read each and every one of those… I am so so sorry, and I am concerned for you. If you decided to skip reading them entirely, I can’t say I blame you. But just rest assured that yes, I have been called each of these names at least once, and if you were to shout any one of them in public, I would quickly turn around, knowing you’re talking to me. 

Now, believe it or not, this goofy little intro does serve a purpose other than (hopefully) making you laugh and showcasing my name repertoire… because I want to talk about identity. 

My one precious hope, for the rest of the time you spend reading this blog post, is that no matter where you’re at in your life (a struggling Christian or a thriving one, an unbelieving soul or a searching one) God in his irrepressibly redeeming nature would somehow take the scatter-brained thoughts and makeshift wisdom of a sinner like me, and miraculously transform your heart and begin or continue to cleave it firmly to His. Because the only way we can move from darkness into light is if the Lord of light and everything good, pulls us out of the shadows and hems us into His loving heart. It has nothing to do with our capabilities, our strength, our wisdom, or our willpower to overcome sin, but it has everything to do with His irrevocable saving hand.  

That is our identity, my friend. It’s in Him and Him alone, if our faith and souls are surrendered to the saving act of His son, Jesus Christ.  

If that’s more of a reminder to you than a new revelation, then thanks be to God! But if the very idea of finding identity externally is something new to you, then I’d be delighted to point you to where I got such a countercultural idea. If you have a Bible, I’d encourage you to open it up right now, and flip to Ephesians chapter 2. And if you don’t have a Bible, you needn’t worry. I’ll explain what you need to know. 

Ephesians 2:1 “As for you, you were dead…”

 That’s it. Let’s stop right there before continuing… Ponder right now… what does it mean to be dead? What does this verse not say? It doesn’t say “you were clinging on to life.” It doesn’t say “you were almost dead.” It doesn’t say “you were sick.” It doesn’t say “you were in trouble but there’s a way to save yourself.” It says, very plainly and quite bluntly… You. Were. Dead.  

It’s scary, and I draw attention to this morbid word, because in the same way that a fish that’s always lived in the ocean does not know it’s wet, we were born into a corrupt, sinful, and dead world, unable to comprehend the full nature of death and evil because it’s all we’ve ever known.  

Here’s another metaphor for you… Think about a toddler, dressed up in his little overalls, an extra small button up shirt, and with his hair in a combover, on his way to church with his loving Christian parents… cute right?  

NO! 

WRONG! SO WRONG! 

That baby knows how to be needy, demanding, and self-centered before it knows how to walk! That same morning, he probably cried for breakfast ten minutes after being fed! Pastor Voddie Baucham calls babies “vipers in diapers.” Hehe. It’s funny, but the point is serious. Sin is inherent with everything walking on this earth, even adorable babies, meaning that we are condemned and dead from the start. In the same sermon, Baucham explains in excellent detail the three staples of evil which hem us in to our sinful nature, and how we so ignorantly believe that attempting to individually conquer or escape any one of those three things can save us.  

If you isolate yourself from the evils of the world, going into the middle of the woods and avoiding any contact with the creations of man, the temptations and waking evil of the flesh and the devil still subjugate your heart. If you look at yourself in the mirror, every morning and repeat “I can do this. I can do this,” watching motivational videos and stirring up your will power to conquer your flesh, the world and the devil will still overtake you, because your willpower is unable to overcome the forces of evil. If you acknowledge the devil’s presence and influence, running from him daily, your already poisoned mind and the evil world around you will take you back to square one. 

We are hemmed in on all sides. Winning is NOT possible. It’s just not. I repeat, as Ephesians 2 says, “you were dead.” A dead man cannot save himself. Because well… he’s dead. Our identity is that of a dead person… 

But let’s keep reading, because “you were dead,” is past tense right? Could that mean something happened to change our dead state?

Verse 3, “All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest we were by nature deserving of wrath…” 

“BUT…” (Verse 4).

“Because of his great love for us, God, who is rich and mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions…”

And here’s the real kicker… 

“it is by GRACE you have been saved” (Verse 5).

GRACE. Not grace and then works. Not works and then grace. Just… grace. God has offered His son as a living sacrifice for your tattered life, so that if you believe in His resurrection, God will look upon you and see not the broken life you’ve lived, but the perfectly sanctified life of His son, Jesus Christ!  

My whole life, even after becoming a Christian, I have battled against a false gospel that tells me that even though God has saved me, I am required to go to church and I am required to spread the Gospel and I am required to live a righteous life. But no, I get to go to church, and I get to spread the Gospel and I get to live a righteous life. Because each of those things has been given to me, not earned. Many people look at Christian lifestyles and immediately see a set of rules that restricts them from living the life they want to live. But when God authored the ten commandments and when God authored the outline for living a New Testament Christian life, he never intended it to be seen as a complicated pathway to salvation. The purpose of these “rules” was never intended to be our identity.

Look at Romans 5:20-21

“The law was brought in so that the trespass might increase. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more, so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”  

The purpose of the law was to show us that we are incapable of following it! It is a gift to beleaguered sinners like you and me who are hemmed in and unable to locate the shallow limits of our willpower and self-righteousness.  

This doesn’t mean we should continue sinning, as Paul further explains in Romans 6, but it does mean that the compass of our longing for salvation and peace should be pointed to someone who can fulfill the law – Jesus Christ. 

Therefore, here at the end of my little deep dive into identity, I encourage you, the reader, to ponder these verses and these truths more deeply. Where do you put your identity? Is it in the things of this world that are temporary and fading? Success. Fame. Money. Popularity. Self-Righteousness. Pleasure… These things seek to destroy you and rob you of your joy… Or is your identity in Christ Jesus, the only one who can drive away evil and retrieve us from the world and its principalities, plunging us into His heart and giving us the power to step into eternal kingship with Him? 

These are heavy questions and cannot be answered in a quick sit-down. So I implore you, my friend, on Christ’s behalf, be reconciled to God and seek out someone who has pondered these questions before. I myself, would be thrilled to entertain any questions you have, and if these questions aren’t new to you, I would still welcome any conversation you have to offer. And if you are the reader who has already pondered these questions, take courage and share with someone today that their burden can be relieved. It is our Matthew 28 calling, after all :) 

God bless, and may His light forever illuminate your path! 

Also, I wanted to include the link to Voddie Baucham’s Sermon, “The World, The Flesh, and The Devil.” If you watch it you’ll quickly realize this post is heavily inspired by His own words. But there’s so much more truth to be explored in His video!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yaj7tBY2UGI&t=384s

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Grant is a third year Management major at the University of Georgia and a College Intern at Watkinsville this year. In his free time, he enjoys playing the piano, spending time with friends, and breaking out dance moves at unexpected times. He spends his Wednesdays hanging out at the Woelfl-Bates Tribe, and loves talking about the Lord!

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The Story That Seems Impossible

Nate Castleman // UGA Student

When I was asked to write a blog about what God has done in my life and how he has changed it, I was hesitant at first. However, a friend encouraged me saying this story is too good to go untold, which gave me the confidence I needed to write about my life and what God has done in it.

I’ll rip the band-aid right off… If you didn’t know this about me, I was born with dyslexia, meaning I had trouble reading and writing, among other things. I struggled in school my whole life from kindergarten to my senior year of high school. I personally didn't know I had dyslexia till 7th or 8th grade, but my parents knew I had it since I entered elementary school. I wouldn’t say it completely controlled my life, but it definitely played a strong role in showing me what I could and couldn’t do school-wise. I struggled to compare things in the classroom, struggled to read, and struggled to write. I knew I couldn’t read as great as other people in my class because I had a 4th-grade reading level in the 7th grade. Among that, I was either failing most of my classes or barely passing them. However, I was never held back. I always passed along with the other kids getting all A’s in their classes. At that point in time, my parents and I were questioning why God gave me this if all I was bound to do was fail in school and struggle with so much personally.

My 7th-grade year was a long and horrific year for me. In the middle of the first semester of 7th grade, I got therapy for my dyslexia. During this, I had to relearn pretty much everything related to writing and reading, from the alphabet to just writing a basic sentence. This did help a little bit, but I still struggled in school a lot. I got bullied, to say the least; people called me names because of my dyslexia. I lost almost all of my friends during that year, besides a couple of true friends that stuck by my side. Due to the bullying, my grades were slipping, and I was not doing as well in sports. On top of that, I didn’t go to church as much anymore, didn’t pray, and didn’t do what I knew was right. I think this was probably one of the lowest points in my life because I had nobody to talk to about how I felt, or how I was doing personally.

Thankfully, one of those four friends I had that were in my group invited me to church on Wednesday night just to check it out. I did, and I fell in love with what our church was doing for high school and college students. That’s when I started going back to church and serving with the church I was attending. That summer, between my Sophomore and Junior year, I went to an FCA camp. During the last night’s service, they told everyone to close their eyes and that those that wanted to be saved to stand up. That night I gave my life to Jesus for the first time alongside two of my other teammates.

Going into junior year, one of my teachers said something so disrespectful that I believe she got fired after saying it. Every year since going to school, I have had meetings with my coaches, teachers, and parents to see how I was doing in classes. In these meetings, all the teachers gave me high praise for paying attention, answering questions, turning in homework, and doing well on quizzes and tests. However, one day, my Language Arts teacher said, and I quote “your son got a 94 on the benchmark midterm for this semester, but this is the most successful he will be in all his school life. Your son should drop out of high school and never go to college because I don't see him accomplishing much in the future school-wise.” Now hearing that, as a student in high school, was just so discouraging, especially coming from a teacher.

My senior year was more of the same during the first semester. However, something bad happened in the spring of 2020, and everybody knows it well…COVID. A lockdown happened, which meant that no one could even leave the house. During this time, I stopped going to church once again. I just didn’t find a reason or a purpose to go. Those choices led me down a path of darkness and sin. I got into all of those things because of the people around me and the groups I hung out with. I still felt a hole in my heart, but instead of changing anything, I kept doing what I was doing. This led to me losing friends and ultimately breaking up with my girlfriend.

Eventually, I asked my friend, “hey, you brought me back into the Christian life once, can you do it again?” He just smiled and responded, “I would love to.” I felt like I was too far gone this time but I remembered what God did for me and this changed me as a person.

Continuing in 2020, I started my college career at UNG Gainesville, which was the only school that I got into with a high-school GPA of 2.89. Despite everything I had been told and made fun of for, I wanted to prove that God had a bigger plan for me. In my first semester at UNG, I received all A’s and B’s. Let me tell you, I was jumping up and down because I have never gotten grades like this before. The spring of 2021 was an interesting semester. Once again, I finished with A’s and B’s, for the second time ever. And this was God's way of telling me that this is what he had in store for me. That summer, my mom and I took a visit to UGA because I was thinking of transferring out of UNG. My mom delivered this famous line: “how cool would it be if you got into UGA and went here?” I replied, “that will never happen.” 

Skipping ahead to fall of 2021, around the middle of the semester, I got an email from UNG saying that I was on the President’s List of UNG. I sent this to my parents and they were so proud of me. I'd been through so much in my life up to that point and been written off by so many people, I was basically doing the impossible in my eyes and in my parents’ eyes as well. All glory goes to God because he put me on the path to work hard in my classes. After my fall semester, I finished with all A’s, which I thought I could never do. I mean come on, a dyslexic guy that graduated high school with a 2.8, finishing a semester with a 4.0? Even saying that now doesn’t seem real to me. 

In 2022, my semester kicked off the same way. I got an email from UNG congratulating me for being put on the Dean's list because of my 4.0 standing from the last fall. Now I’m not going to lie, that caught me off guard. I had to read it again and it said “Dean's List.” I started to cry tears of joy. This was yet another achievement that seemed impossible to me. During that spring semester, I was in a class with two of my friends who applied to transfer to UGA. At this point, I was still on the fence about applying, but my mom said “just do it, the worst that could happen is that you don't get in.'' I decided to apply, and then played the waiting game. A couple of weeks passed by and my friends both received emails that they got into UGA for the fall of 2022. I started to feel bad because I thought I didn’t get into UGA. However, on St. Patrick’s Day, I was working with some friends when I received an email from UGA. I opened it and it said, “Nathan Castleman, Congratulations! You have been accepted into UGA for the fall of 2022, you're officially a bulldog.” After I read that email, I broke down crying for a good reason, because I never thought getting into UGA was going to be possible. I told my friends, and they gave me hugs and congratulated me. Then I went into my manager's office, and she started to cry because she was so happy for me. When I called my parents and told them the news, they started to cry as well. Once again, saying I got into UGA sounds surreal. To be honest, I still feel like I’m about to wake up from a dream. I always tell myself that God has put me on a path with many setbacks because he always has something greater in store for me. Therefore, the path he picks for me is the path that I am most grateful for. Ever since I got into UGA, I read this verse my mother sends me every morning.

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13

This is my life story. Jesus has done amazing things in my life, and he has helped me through the rough patches as well. I really can’t thank him enough, because I truly wouldn’t be where I am today if it wasn’t for him. Now I’ve told this story to a small number of friends in Athens, and they are amazed at the power and wisdom Jesus has displayed in my life. When they tell me that, I cry a little because they know how much I’ve been through to become the person I am today. Finally, I will end this off on a high note. I wanted to thank my parents (I know you're reading this) for never giving up on me and always having my back. God has done so much in my life, and I know he will continue to do more! I want to thank you for reading and leave you with this verse for encouragement.

“But the Lord stood by me and strengthened me, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. So I was rescued from the lion’s mouth” 2 Timothy 4:17

God is always on your side and always has your back. He knows what’s best for you. I hope this story was encouraging to you, I hope it leads you to seek out hurting people in your life, and I hope it motivates you to invite them into a loving Christian community because that changed my life.

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Nate is a second year Management and Information Systems Major with a Minor in Criminal Justice at UGA. He has been attending Watkinsville since August of this year, as this is his first semester since he transferred from UNG Gainesville. On Tuesdays, he spends his evenings with the Barnes tribe praying for the many missions teams around the world. One thing you should know about Nate is that he enjoys trying new things, whether it is joining a small group or taking opportunities.

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What are you Training for?

Natalie Stembel // UGA Student & Worship Intern

Hi. My name is Noot. The government calls me Natalie; I seldom answer. I love the color green. It reminds me of life and peace and the green pastures we’re welcomed into with our Heavenly Father by our side. I like to workout and to feel the accomplishment of pushing the limits of my strength. I’m a visual person. I experience the Lord in mighty ways when I get to interact with His creation. If you read nothing else that I write, read this:

I was created in the image of my Father. I was born into a world that, although made in His image, has been warped by the curse of sin. Sin is a part of me. Only by the grace and kindness of He who called us into His eternity, my story doesn’t have to end there. These things are true of every human. Thankfully, oh so thankfully, my story continues. Although sin is a part of me, and will be as long as the Lord keeps me on this earth for His purpose, it no longer steals, kills, and destroys. In Galatians, it says we have been crucified with Christ. It says, “it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives within me.” What wonderful news! Although sin is a part of me, Christ is now too. He lives within me. He lives within me! In 2 Corinthians, after talking about what it means to be with Jesus and be known by Him in intimacy like this, it says when we are in Christ the old has ‘passed away’. It says to behold, that the new has come. In Hebrew, the word behold means “to fix the eyes upon; to see with attention; to observe with care.” In Hebrew, to behold means to ‘observe with care’ that our new life in Christ has come. To see with attention, to fix our eyes upon, He who saved us and called us to a holy calling, abolishing life and death and bringing immortality to light through the gospel.

Okay. That was a lot all at once. Let’s recap: The Lord created me. I have seen the Lord through the abundance of His presence in His world. And I live in a world that, while created perfectly, now experiences the consequences that come only from living in sin.

One product of when man originally disobeyed God in Genesis 3 (known as The Fall) is the growing crisis of mental health. Let me be very clear: Reading Genesis 1, we see that the Lord created earth, everything in it, and the human mind. And it was very good! Satan, referred to kindly as the father of lies in John 8, did not start calling shots until Genesis 3. This is when we see the Fall of Man, an account written by Moses, of the first time man disobeyed God. This opened the door for sin to enter the world that the Lord had made. As someone who knows what it means to pray and feel the lament of Psalm 77, “my soul refuses to be comforted,” I’m familiar with Satan as the Father of Lies.

It hasn’t been a battle void of all peace. It ebbs and flows. I’ve found that a weighted vest helps my mental state. It grounds me. The prison my mind has chained me to often makes it feel that my mind is stuck but my body is floating away. Drifting. For me, the term ‘live in the moment’ means more than the fall decor section at Hobby Lobby. It means changing my environment to remind me of where I am. Often, that looks like wearing a weighted vest. I use it to run, hike, and walk. The energy required to workout increases exponentially with a weighted vest, and both exercise and the weight calms my brain and slows the panic that so often takes captive my ability to think logically. When I’m not exercising, I use a sandbag or two from the vest and lay them on my chest or in my lap, which grounds me with the added benefit of not making me sweat profusely. Recently, I’ve discovered a metronome app. My brain notices sound textures and gets easily overwhelmed by them. I listen to the metronome at 40 bpm and it gives my brain a sound that is consistent and predictable when my world is spinning. If I’m listening to music, I will often also have the metronome playing. If we’re having a conversation and I’m wearing headphones, I’m listening to the metronome. It does not distract me; it’s what makes it possible to listen.

As it turns out, wearing a weighted vest on campus with headphones and a look of laser focus causes people to turn heads. I often get asked, “What are you training for?”

I laugh every time I’m asked this, but not because the question is unreasonable. I laugh because that question reminds me: “while some use a vest to train for something, I need it to survive.” It has become one of the clearest examples of the Lord’s nearness.

I am training for something. Looking back, I’ve lived in survival mode for as long as I can remember. I’ve never been great at thinking about the future. It’s hard to devote energy to thinking 5 or 10 or 50 years down the road when it takes all the energy I have to function.

On Saturday, I managed to drop a couch on my foot while 3 people were sitting on it. (Please refrain from questions on ‘how’ because I have no answers to give.) That night, I slept in a hammock. I drove home 2 ½ hours the next day and walked almost 1.8 miles. Sunday night I was alone for the first time since Friday. Although I tried to fall asleep, the pain and wrong sensations in my foot reminded me of the psalmist who said, “You hold my eyelids open; I am so troubled that I cannot speak.” That night was filled with Miss Congeniality 2, Cool Ranch Doritos, checking the hours of the health center, calling the emergency room to see if they thought I needed to come in, and rest. And ice. And compression. And elevation.

Monday was filled with x-rays, waiting rooms, crying while waiting in pitch black patient rooms because the light hurts your eyes, and the overwhelming reminders of how Jesus calls me a person for His own possession (1 Peter 2:9) . When I foolishly drove myself to urgent care, I saw the Lord’s gentleness in a friend reminding me I could leave and go somewhere else after I waited 90 minutes and still wasn’t seen. As I foolishly drove myself to the health center, I saw the Lord’s creativity when He gave me the idea to call a friend who could tell me funny stories, giving me a fighting chance of stopping the tears enough to make out the lines on the highway, precariously balancing my right foot over the gear shift as my left foot controlled the pedals. The fact that I made it to the health center alive shows me that when Paul said in Philippians 4 that the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus, He meant it literally. When David said surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever (Psalm 23), I thought, goodness and mercy are not words that would describe my life at all. If this is possible, it at least must not begin until after my earthly body dies. The Lord reminds me that not only is it possible, but it is available to me. Goodness and mercy are words that can describe my life!

I am now at what I affectionately refer to as ‘my home house.’ I still have no answers on what exactly I did to my foot. The pain is increasing exponentially. The love of The Father is not. He loves me infinitely and always has. Although I am currently more aware of His love because I have ample time for sitting and pondering, this has no effect on the magnitude of His love.

Next time someone asks me what I’m training for, I will have a better idea of what I can tell them. I will explain that the Lord has been intricately knitting together each moment in love, allowing the pain to serve a purpose in His kingdom. I will tell them the good news. Jesus Christ came to earth, lived a perfect life so that He could take on the wrath of God for sinners, of whom I am foremost. He died the death I deserved, taking on shame and humility and foot pain that doesn’t ever cease. I will invite them into the loving kindness that He so graciously invited me into.

While looking for a verse to end this with, the Lord so carefully chose two from Romans to remind me of.

I thought the verse I was looking for was in Romans 16. When I opened that chapter I saw the same verse that I used to get myself through every moment in South Asia this summer, and though my current state is much more debilitating, it’s also a rather humorous verse to meditate on in this time.

The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. The grace of our Lord Jesus be with you (Romans 16:20).

When we would wake up in South Asia to children we had never seen before sitting on our bed, I would tell myself that the God of peace will soon crush Satan under my feet. Some of the guys I went overseas with had the brilliant idea to get bottles of water for the team before we boarded our final flight. We graciously accepted, oblivious to the quickly approaching deadline to board. Three of the nine had already boarded, and Alexis and I were waiting for the guys who went for water with their luggage, passports, and boarding passes. When the flight attendant approached, I kindly reminded him that 4 of my friends were buying the rest of us water and we were holding their passports and nothing he said could make me get on that plane without them. It was at this moment that the God of peace reminded me that the God of peace will soon crush Satan under my feet.

Today, though, I am extra thankful that the God of peace will soon crush Satan under my feet because I know that my foot will be crushing nothing but an ice pack.

After I realized the verse I was looking for was not in Romans 16, or 20 (which doesn’t exist), or 18, or 15, He led me to chapter 10. As I was writing this I questioned many times whether or not I should add something, delete something, start new, choose a new topic…

Then I read verse 15,

How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!

Oh man. Thank you Jesus! How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!!! He used this verse to remind me that none of my words mean anything, but that my feet are beautiful because I preach the good news.

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Natalie is a third year Cognitive Science major with a minor in American Sign Language. She has been coming to Watty since her freshman year, and has been a Worship intern since sophomore year. On Tuesdays, she spends her evenings convincing the Barnes’ Tribe that Cheez-it Grooves are indeed a type of cheese (and the best type). She also had the privilege of spending the summer in South Asia with Watkinsville. She is passionate about the church body and sees the Lord moving immensely through the ways He prepares His disciples to carry out Matthew 28:18-20!

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Leaving the Mountaintop

Kaitlyn Lambert // UGA Student & Community Outreach Intern

When I was first asked about writing a post for the college blog, I really thought I had the post essentially pre-written in my mind. It was going to be a summation of my summer in Athens, some paragraphs about day-to-day faithful obedience, and a few neat little anecdotes about the lessons the Lord had been teaching me recently. I hoped it would an easily-digestible encouragement in this busy college season. I even had a clever title, all ready to go.

However, I wonder if what is more useful (for you and me both) is not to share what I’ve learned, but what I’m learning—daily and constantly and with much toil. And so, this is not that original blog post. Rather, this is a story of painful failure, and the things I have done wrong, so that now I might do them right.

Let me set the scene for you: by about the end of my freshman year here at UGA, I fervently believed I had hit the jackpot, so to speak, of the Christian life. I had a bountiful community of close friends, of various ministries and churches in Athens. I had a church home I loved dearly. I was on leadership for a Christian retreat. I knew a decently large amount of the greater Christian community, and people either knew me or knew those I knew. Everything I did was alongside fellow believers, and everywhere I looked (with the kind of dim, rose-colored eyes of my freshman year) was Jesus, and people who knew Jesus, and people who loved Jesus. We all went to church together, and had game nights together, and talked about theology together, and spent (what felt like) every waking moment together. For someone who came into college broken and desperate for Christian community, it felt like a great turnaround. It felt like I had finally “won.”

Sure, I lived in a high-rise dorm with hundreds of students that I never interacted with. Sure, I had classes with people over Zoom—talked with them, responded to their discussion posts. And sure, there were people at the dining halls; around campus; at the grocery store; at the check-out counter; on every packed street I walked on and in the door-to-door hallway I lived on—most of whom were not Christian, did not know the Gospel, and had no significant relationships with those who professed to live for Jesus. Most of them probably didn’t go to church, or had never been to church, or even knew the name of a single church in the city. And sure, statistically, there are an estimated 100,000 lost in Athens, a sizable minority of them at the University of Georgia, but for me, I had so much Jesus in my life that it was nearly impossible to imagine anything but. I was trying, well-intended, to live “in the world” instead of “of it” (John 17:14), attempting to separate myself from a secular, non-Christian influence and culture while in college. It seemed like what “good Christians” did. It was what I had been told to do, just before I had left my small, Bible-belt hometown after high school graduation.

Sophomore year was much the same. I plugged in more at church, got to serving in kids ministry. Met even more believers, deepened those Christian friendships I already had. Got coffee with people and talked about Jesus and what it was like to follow Him in college. Felt like I was winning a needle in a haystack when I would meet someone new who was a believer, and I could connect with them on our shared faith. Stayed on leadership for that same Christian retreat. Joined a tribe. Looked into going on mission for the summer in Turkey or Boston. Applied for the church internship. And kept up this same routine of, sure, going to classes and living in a new apartment complex and going grocery shopping at the Kroger off College Station and waiting for the shuttle at Chicopee Complex for my off-campus parking spot and doing the necessary tasks in a fallen world, but overwhelmingly, nearly entirely, doing life surrounded by and dedicated to Christian community. I’d had more than a few conversations with some friends about feeling like I was living in a “bubble” of believers, and my Tribe had really shifted many of my perspectives on the heart of evangelical mission, and I had (rather half-heartedly) tried to make connections with my classmates and with some old high school friends. And I wore the Christian t-shirts and bracelets, and I told people I was Christian and what my church was, and I smiled and said, “Have a good day!” everywhere I went and attempted to live with a kind of Christ-exterior that people might notice. And at the time, it really felt like it was just enough effort, even if my Google Calendar looked like a color-coded translation of commitments and tasks best titled “church” or “Christian” or “avoiding secular pursuits.”

It took until May of this year, some twenty-one months of living in Athens and going to college here, when on a sheet of paper I was told to write down the names of people in my life I could share the Gospel with, and I found that I couldn’t.

Now, if the task had been to write down the names of people that I knew, I could jot down a decent number. Co-workers. Old freshman year roommate. High school friends. A couple of family members. People I sat next to in class. The shuttle driver I rode with every day. My neighbors at my apartment complex.

But I wasn’t asked that. Instead, I was asked, “Who in your oikos could you share the Gospel with?” The word “oikos” being Ancient Greek for “sphere of influence,” or “household”—that is, people you actually have relationship with, that you interact with and truly know. That is, not just superficially intersect with, but that you have genuine influence over. Not just people you could text after months of not speaking, but that are present in your life.

And my answer was, to my sudden and piercing shame: I didn’t have any. There was no one for me to share the Gospel with, not without me falsely pursuing sudden relationship with people.

I could’ve given dozens of names of lovely, dear, and Proverbs 27, iron-sharpened Christians, but as for the lost around me, those living without any knowledge of the carpenter that died for them, I didn’t even know them.

That moment, a blank sheet of paper staring at me with just my name written down in the center, was a realization of a series of failures as a Christian. I really thought I had done it right. I got the Christian community, and I grew my Christian community, and I did everything involved with my Christian community, and I held onto that community with tightened fists, prioritizing it above all else. And it was good. And it was for God. But eventually, what was intended to “stir [me] up…to love and good works” (Hebrews10:24) had become what was hindering me from following what Jesus had directed to His disciples on that Galilean mountain: “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you” (Matthew 28:19-20).

And my failure has not really been that I had no one to share the Gospel with, but that I had so deeply integrated myself in a man-made kingdom of Christ-followers that I had forgotten that there is a Kingdom to come (Matthew 6:10), and that this world this is not my home (Hebrew 13:14). That there is an entire earth of created beings, an entire city, an entire state university, of people who do not know that Jesus has hung on a cross for them and has given them new life apart from this broken existence, and yet I did not allow myself to realize that I had been hiding away in the midst of the richest harvest.

If I were to go look for Jesus in the days of His ministry, if I really wanted to search for Him, I would not have gone to the synagogues and the temples (though He did spend time there). I would go to the countryside hilltops, where He told parables of things no one had ever heard. I would go to the dinner tables, where He sat with people who did not even love Him. I would go Him gathering with the disciples, perhaps along the road for a rest, where He told them, “If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go in search of the one that went astray?” (Matthew 18:12).

Could I? Leave my ninety-nine friends? My church? My home? For that one sheep (that I have been), so lost and tender and worth knowing, beyond the confines of our white-washed Christian walls?

How many times am I walking past the Samaritan woman at the well (John 4)? How many times am I rushing through the crowd of Pharisees with stones in their hands and a woman who does not know she has been forgiven (John 8)? How often is there a Zacchaeus in my path, leaning out of a sycamore tree, searching for sight of Jesus (Luke 19)? How often am I eating with the tax collectors and sinners of the modern world (Mark 2)? How often am I pressed in-between a dozen students on a UGA bus, impatient to be on my way to my household of already-saved, Christ-loving girls? How often am I checking the clock in my class of thirty people whose names I don’t know and already thinking about church that night? How often am I viewing the earthly life I live as a distraction to endure instead of the purpose for which I am made?

There was a time when I thought I had “made it” as a Christian. I really believed I had succeeded in what my community and lifestyle was meant to exhibit, what its purpose was meant to be. I have spent the months since learning how to be the “light of the world” (Matthew 5:14), rather than the light of those who have already been made to see. Trying to make my oikos a picture of genuine relationship with the lost and broken, rather than those who are already found. I don’t know how well I do it even now, preaching as I am to myself. I think I will spend my entire lifetime learning. Learning how to do it right, how to do it wholeheartedly. Cherishing my Christian community and its Proverbial iron-sharpening, but in order that I might better cultivate the Kingdom-to-come, rather than the kingdom that is here.

I wonder if I don’t see Jesus all the more clearly in the harvest-field, away from all the comforts and pleasures of the home I’ve precariously built on the mountaintop—nothing but the pure, unflinching brokenness of the world He has called me to love.

He loved it too. He died for it, and He has called me to live in it.

May we all love our world, our every breath and opportunity and interaction and person, well. May we love one another so well, that we are all on hands and knees in the dirt, looking around us and finding that the laborers for the Gospel are ever-increasing, that they look less like our friends and more like “a great multitude that no one [can] number, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages, standing before the throne and before the Lamb” (Revelation 7:9) at the end of all things.

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Kaitlyn is a third year English major with minors in Religion and Public Policy & Management at UGA. She has been attending Watkinsville FBC since January of her freshman year, serves in WatKIDSville, and is a Community Outreach/Hospitality Intern. On Thursday, she hangs out at the Jones Tribe. She can’t wait to see how Athens can become a college town that is on fire for the Gospel!

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When I am Weak, Then I am Strong

Anna Hicks // UGA Student & Communications Intern

One of the biggest lessons I’ve had to learn is that God can take the most difficult circumstances and use them for His glory. In my life, this has looked like an arc in my story that I never would have written for myself, but that He ended up turning into an opportunity to share the greatest Story ever written. Let me explain. 

When I was five, I was diagnosed with a brain tumor and had to have surgery to remove it. By God’s grace, the doctor was able to get rid of the tumor completely and it has never come back. Unfortunately, due to complications from the surgery, sometimes pressure builds up in my brain and I must have emergency surgery. This always happens at random and has happened seven times over the past thirteen years. Although the symptoms are clear enough that we always know to go to the hospital when it happens, I have to live with the fact that if we don’t catch it before the pressure builds up too much, things could go really bad for me really fast. Knowing this could happen any day makes things like moving away from my parents and going overseas on my own difficult, scary, and in some cases logistically impossible. Living with this hanging over my head certainly isn’t easy, and when I have to go in for surgery it can be hard to see how any good can come of the situation at all.

 In the New Testament, Paul calls his own recurring trial the “thorn in his flesh.”

“Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:7-10

Although the New Testament doesn’t say specifically what Paul’s thorn is, we can be sure it was something unpleasant, something he pleaded to have taken away. Yet this passage also shows us an example of the godly way to respond to these trials. When Paul pleaded for his thorn to be taken away, God’s answer was “no.” But instead of complaining and trying to find a way to get rid of his thorn on his own, Paul said he would boast gladly in his weakness - even delight in his weakness. The automatic response to difficulties in our world today is not to delight in them. So how does Paul do it? The answer is there in the first verse - “[God’s] power is made perfect in weakness.” When we are weak, our inability to deal with our own difficulties proves that God alone is powerful. Our trials and hardships are opportunities for us to give God the glory and boast in HIS power instead of our own. Serving God through our difficulties looks like taking our sorrow and hurt and turning them around into awe and wonder at the power of a God who, when we are weak, remains strong.

In my story, this mindset switch came in the form of an incredible opportunity during my church’s mission trip to Bogotá, Colombia. Our team had to write stories through which we could share the gospel, and as I tried to brainstorm a topic for the story I would share, the Lord put my own story on my heart. As I sat down at the table to write it out, the elements of my story and the gospel narrative started falling into place side by side, leaving me awestruck at how the Lord had been working in my life without me even realizing it.

In my story, I was born with a sickness that I couldn’t do anything about on my own, one that would eventually kill me if nothing was done about it. In the same way, every one of us is born with a terrible sickness called sin, which we are helpless to fix on our own, and which will result in eternal death if nothing is done about it.

In my story, my doctor offered me a solution to my sickness - he could take away the tumor for good. God offers us a solution to our sin disease when he extends to us the gift of salvation, and just like I accepted my doctor’s offer and was healed of my tumor, if we accept the gift of salvation God will forgive us of our sins - past, present, and future - leaving us healed.

However, just because I am healed of my tumor doesn’t mean I don’t suffer from its effects. The problems resulting from the tumor are something I’ll have to deal with until I die, but I know that if I go to my doctor he is willing and able to fix it for me. Similarly, as long as we are living on this fallen earth we as Christians will have to deal with the effects of sin on our bodies, minds, and spirits. However, if we have accepted the gift of salvation we can have confidence that we can come to the Father and he has already forgiven us completely and freely!

In Colombia, I was able to share this story - my story - with the people as a method of sharing the gospel with them. Although only God knows how He used it to work in the hearts of the people who heard it, I know for sure that the Lord used that experience to change my own heart. Before writing my story, I struggled to see how my medical challenges were something that the Lord could use for good - how could something that caused me and those around me so much pain bring Him glory? But when God said “no” to Paul’s pleas for relief from the thorn in his flesh, Paul found out that in his own weakness, the strength of God was made more evident in his life. Through writing my story, the Lord showed me how one of the most difficult parts of my own story is actually such a gift because I can use it to share the most important story - the story of the gospel.

Please don’t hear me saying that if you give your trials to God it will make them any easier. Jesus told his followers in John 16:33,

“In this world you will have troubles. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

Just because we choose to trust God with our troubles and use them to glorify Him doesn’t mean that they are going to go away. Paul had to deal with the thorn in his flesh for the rest of his life, and my doctors might not ever figure out how to completely get rid of the complications from my tumor. But what it does mean is that we can have confidence that even when we can’t see how, God’s power is made perfect in our weakness. When trials and tribulations come our way and the thorns in our flesh seem too hard to bear, we can choose to count it all joy and with Paul claim that “when I am weak, then I am strong.”

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Anna is a second year English and intended Public Relations double-major at UGA. She started attending Watkinsville FBC consistently in January. She serves as a Communications Intern this school year and is in the Jones tribe. She is excited to see how the Lord uses her to serve His people this year at Watkinsville!

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The Body of Christ

Kirsten Brucker // UGA Student & College Intern

This year I am a sophomore at the University of Georgia and I have been reflecting on what my life was like a year ago. I was the typical nervous freshman coming onto campus not knowing many people. I was praying for and seeking out a community that would point me to Jesus in all things. I longed for this community in order to be strengthened by other believers so that we could then go out and share Jesus with those around us.

As it tells us in Proverbs,

“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17

It is clear that we have been created to be strengthened by each other. One year later and I can gratefully say that God answered this prayer of community…but it didn’t happen overnight. Freshman year consisted of attending various campus ministries and churches and figuring out which friendships would make it past the surface level conversations of “Where are you from?” and “What’s your major?”

An encouragement to any freshman reading this: You may not know who your best friends are the first week of college, but God does. Rest in that truth that He already knows and goes before you in all that you will face this school year.“

“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” Proverbs 16:9

The unique thing about Athens and UGA that I had not experienced in my hometown was the diversity and strength of the body of Christ. I experienced this right before my freshman year started at the ARCH Retreat, a weekend for Athens freshmen to get connected within the body of Christ. It was amazing to be a part of believers from various churches and ministries all coming together with one goal: to make Christ known. This community is unique because everyone is coming from different places and with different experiences and gifts. Paul mentions this in 1 Corinthians 12,

“Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord; and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone.” 1 Corinthians 12:4-6

We can rejoice in the fact that the motive behind all that we do is driven by something greater than ourselves, Jesus Christ and what He did for us on the cross.

During my freshman year, I began to notice that within the body of believers, there are ranges of spiritual maturity. One warning; however, that accompanies this is comparison. The fleshly side of me wanted to compare my walk with Christ to others, but I realized the beauty in the truth that Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 12 about us being members of the body but making up different parts.

“For the body does not consist of one member but of many. If the foot should say, ‘Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,’ that would not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear should say, ‘Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,’ that would not make it any less a part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell? But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. If all were a single member, where would the body be?” 1 Corinthians‬ ‭12:14-19

I love this metaphor because it reminds me of all my body parts that have to work together to accomplish a goal. Think of a simple task we do everyday such as walking. From a broad perspective, our legs and feet are moving us forward, and our eyes are directing our steps because our brain tells them to do so. Not to mention the fact that we use about 200 muscles to take a single step forward, and all of the various internal body parts that are working as we are moving.

This is the same picture of the body of Christ which I have experienced more recently as a Watkinsville Intern. There are different sectors of the internship such as worship, kids, youth, college, community outreach, and missions. All of these have different roles within them. It has been amazing to see just within the sector of college interns how God has given each of us unique gifts to be able to work together and accomplish more for His name.

Regarding the beauty of us having varieties of talents and gifts, we also have an enemy named satan. He tries to tell us that because we aren’t gifted in a certain area like someone else is, we aren’t good enough. These are all lies because it’s not about what we can do for God anyway. God uses our unique gifts to spread the love of Christ. If we embrace the unique gifts we have been given, we can be messengers on this Earth to bring awareness to our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Satan also tries to tell us that just because our story doesn’t look like someone else's, it’s not significant. Maybe you’re the one that grew up in church and have been saved since you were young. Or maybe you went down the worldly path for a while and have an incredible testimony of God bringing you from death to life. Both of these stories are of equal value, and it is all by God’s saving grace. You never know how much God can use your testimony to change lives until you start sharing it. Through sharing your story, you can strengthen members of the body.

“But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.” 1 Corinthians 12:24-26

There is so much to learn from those around you, don’t let comparison steal your joy. What a gift it is that the weight is not on our shoulders alone. This is the beauty of being on a team, that we all bear each other's burdens and lift each other up. This is the body of Christ, working together with different strengths and weaknesses, which amplifies the overall glory we give to God.

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Kirsten is a second year intended Marketing major at UGA. She consistently has been attending Watkinsville FBC since January and was baptized in May at the church. She is an intern within the college ministry this school year and will be leading a Tribe as well. She is so excited to see all that God does through this internship, in her heart and in the lives of those around her!

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Humility In God's Timing

Mackenzie Pitts // UNG Student & Kids Intern/Intern Coordinator

Living and growing in a college town where both your environment and the people around you are constantly changing can be hard when you seem to be constantly staying the same. God’s timing is a concept I’ve been struggling with lately and with that has come an abundance of humility. The Lord’s timing and plan for my life is unique to say the least, not reflecting what’s typical in the world. I’m 22 years old and I won’t graduate in four years, maybe not even five, I won’t get married after four years of college, and I won’t get to start my desired career at this young age. Coming to these realizations has left me questioning myself and God. When will it be my turn? What’s wrong with me? Has God forgotten about me? Has everyone else forgotten about me? Along with these doubtful thoughts have come extreme thoughts of pride. Aren’t I great too? Don’t I deserve this or that? Haven’t I waited long enough? What do I need to do to get that?

In Mark 10, James and John leave the other disciples to approach Jesus. Confident in their own greatness, they ask Jesus to sit at His left and right hands in heaven, sharing in His glory. They didn’t want to share support in His suffering, they wanted to be famous. I’m reading Humility by CJ Mahaney right now and this quote is constantly circling in my head: “Can you see yourself in this story? It’s easy for us at times to disdain the disciples and fail to recognize our face in their portrait. They argued on the road about who was the greatest; we may not openly argue about this, but don’t we engage in the same debate everyday in our private thoughts? If you’re like me, you compare yourself to others and look for opportunities to claim greater importance than them, just as the disciples did.”

When comparison creeps in and plans to steal all my joy, instead of turning to prideful, woe-is-me minded thoughts, I turn to gratitude. If I was on track in school to graduate in four years, summer classes included, would I have had the opportunity to spend the summer in Boston last year? Would I have the opportunity to go back this year? The answer to both, especially the opportunity this year, would be no. Would I have the opportunity to intern for a fourth year at Watkinsville in a brand-new ministry area, allowing the Lord to take me out of my comfort zone and challenge me in new ways? The answer is also no. Would I have the opportunity to live with some of my closest friends in August if I was getting married? Again, no. Would my relationship with Jesus have been crafted the same way if my life reflected the typical timeline? I genuinely feel like I wouldn’t know the Lord the way I do if my path to where I am right now would have been even the slightest bit different.

If I can so clearly and tangibly see the ways the Lord has orchestrated the things of my life in the past, why do I doubt Him now? Just because some big life stages are coming up, He’s going to leave me now? If I can look back and thank God, shouldn’t I be able to look forward and trust God? 

Lamentations 3:21-23 says,

“Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each morning.”

This life is not about me telling God what I want my life to look like or placing expectations on His plans for my life. He has proved time and time again how much better His plans are than mine. Is this the time I’ll finally grasp that? What a humbling way to realize that I will never be able to answer those doubt filled questions when I want to exclude God as the Creator of my life. 

The purpose of pride is to rob God of His glory and to pursue self-glorification for ourselves. In essence, we are depriving God of something only He is worthy to receive. No wonder the Bible repeatedly emphasizes how much God opposes pride.

“When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom”  Proverbs 11:2

“In your relationship with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death- even death on a cross!” Philippians 2:5-8

These verses in Philippians exemplify true greatness displayed by Jesus. When He was sent to earth in human form, He could have taken on the role of God planning to be served by all. Instead, He Himself came to serve. This is what life is all about. It isn’t about timelines or what I think is best for my life within a certain time frame, it is about exemplifying the true greatness of Jesus. God is the only one worthy to receive our lives wholehearted on display for His glory. 

One of my favorite worship songs is “Run to The Father” by Cody Carnes. The line the Lord constantly places on my heart is, “I don’t have a context for that kind of love, I don’t understand, I can’t comprehend, all I know is I need You”. It’s a gift to know that God’s goodness is completely and utterly independent of my response to it. He’s good because He is, not because I’ve done anything to deserve it. 

God’s timing is meant to protect me, to guide me, and is used to help me grow my dependence and trust in Him. I need to step aside and let God be God. Praise God that I don’t have the power or sovereignty over my own life.

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Mack is a fourth year secondary math education major at UNG. She has been a kids intern for 3 years and got to be an intern coordinator this year! She is also involved in the Fagan/Martin tribe, went to Boston last summer, and is going to Boston with Watty this summer. In the fall, she is planning on interning with the youth!

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God Revives and Redirects Dreams

Rebekah Emerson // UGA Student & Worship Intern

I am a dreamer. Since I was a little girl I have loved dreaming. Daydreaming, dreaming in my sleep, or even dreaming big whimsical, romantic ideas of hopes for the future have always been my favorite pastimes. We are all taught to dream. In elementary school, we are met with the question “What do you want to be when you grow up?”, and this question seems to stick with us for the rest of our lives. Our answers change from “Popstar” and “Astronaut” to “Biochemical Engineer” and “Financial Planner”, but the idea of the dream stays the same. You have a desire and a passion to be something that will hopefully use your gifts and talents. For me, my answer changed almost daily, and to be honest, it still does. Growing up, I wanted to be a pop star. I wanted to sing and entertain the world. In high school, this dream took a little bit of shaping and turned into wanting to be on Broadway. With this dream now set as my goal, I got to training. Nine years of training to be front and center on a stage. Nine years of trying to be the best in the room. Nine years of singing for the approval of others. Nine years of grooming myself as this dream turned into an idol. That idol quickly ate away at any passion I had for singing, so I eventually gave up. Nine years seemingly gone down the drain, but I simply could not carry on trying to outperform those around me while simultaneously seeking fulfillment from those same people. 

I went to college to study Communications. I threw in the towel and turned off the light on ever using my voice again. Freshman year, I hid my ability to sing from those around me. No one needed to know because if I started singing again it would become a competition, and I had no more fight in me. Freshman year went by, and ended in a global pandemic. I was now given time to sit with my thoughts. No distractions, just me, God, and my pink colored walls. I spent nights crying out to God, asking Him why I felt a hole in me. Why did I have an itch that I couldn’t seem to scratch? Something I learned over this period of time is that when God has gifted you with something and you stop using it for His kingdom, you feel a restless and relentless pull.

“Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” Isaiah 43:19

A mentor of mine sent this to me during quarantine, and I meditated on it day and night. God was doing something new in me and in my life. He was creating paths that had yet to be created. He was and still is “doing a new thing”. 

Sophomore year came and I was ready to start serving the Lord in my community again, and so I led a small group. I was cool with God doing a new thing, so long as it wasn’t singing, and leading a small group was something I had never done before. I made it to November when the itch came back. I was so frustrated with God, and I was ready to give up on Him. I didn’t understand what he was doing. I was serving Him, and I was more in the word and prayer than I had ever been. What more did He want from me? 

Everything. He wanted every single thing. 

I wanted to only give Him what didn’t hurt me. I didn’t want Him to see the ugly in me, and I didn’t want Him to use something that had corrupted me. Singing caused me to stray away from Him, so why would He want it? How could He possibly use it? God wanted to heal me; so that way He could use me. He needed to heal me from my need to outperform and my need to be perfect. God doesn’t ask for perfect, He’s asking for you. God is not asking for a performance, He is asking for true, unfiltered, selfless worship. I had to fall into His arms and relinquish control. I then began the search for verses on how to go about this healing, and here is what I found:

“If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land. Now my eyes will be open and my ears attentive to the prayers offered in this place.” ~ 2 Chronicles 7:14-15

“‘He himself bore our sins’ in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live for righteousness; ‘by his wounds you have been healed.’” ~ 1 Peter 2:24

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”~ Matthew 11:28-30

“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” ~ 1 Corinthians 10:13

In searching for healing from God, healing is what I found. In Matthew 7:7-11 Jesus tells us to ask, seek, and knock. I asked God to show me what was wrong. He answered. I searched for His healing, and I found it. The knock. Where was I to knock? Did I have the strength to finally knock? The answer that I found in my search was yes. I had realigned myself with God’s Word. I had been spending intimate time with Him leaning into what He was saying, and He led me to this verse, “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” Proverbs 16:9. I just had to trust that He would guide my steps. So, I knocked, and the door was opened, a door that I thought would never open again. I began leading worship again. I have been leading worship now for a year at Watkinsville. 

I once had a dream to sing on stage and to entertain. As my walk with God deepened and matured I thought that dream had to die. I was sure that those passions and desires could never be a part of my walk with God, but God is the God of revival. I thought it was impossible to ever enjoy singing again, but because God has redirected my passions, I now only sing for an audience of One. I sing for God, not for others. I thought dreams were dead and buried, but as I walk in love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, gentleness, and self-control, the Lord has revived dreams and repurposed them for His glory. 

I leave you with this Psalm: 

“The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? When evildoers assail me to eat up my flesh, my adversaries and foes, it is they who stumble and fall. Though an army encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war arise against me, yet I will be confident. One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in his temple. For he will hide me in his shelter in the day of trouble; he will conceal me under the cover of his tent; he will lift me high upon a rock. And now my head shall be lifted up above my enemies all around me, and I will offer in his tent sacrifices with shouts of joy; I will sing and make melody to the Lord. Hear, O Lord, when I cry aloud; be gracious to me and answer me! You have said, “Seek my face.” My heart says to you, “Your face, Lord, do I seek.” Hide not your face from me. Turn not your servant away in anger, O you who have been my help. Cast me not off; forsake me not, O God of my salvation! For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the Lord will take me in. Teach me your way, O Lord, and lead me on a level path because of my enemies. Give me not up to the will of my adversaries; for false witnesses have risen against me, and they breathe out violence. I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!” -Psalm 27

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Rebekah is a third year communications major with a religion minor at UGA. She is a worship intern, involved in the Fagan/Martin tribe, and is going to Boston with Watty this summer! She leads worship during the services on Sundays and for various kids, youth, and college events. She is passionate about living your life in worship to the Lord and leads so authentically.

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The Gospel in the Wilderness

Lindsay Wilson // UGA Student & Worship Intern

One of the most wondrous things about scripture is that we can find our story within the greater story of the gospel. It is no coincidence that the Lord has had me reading the Old Testament this semester. Since January, I have read Genesis-Deuteronomy (that one year reading plan, iykyk.) In these books, we see the story of the Israelites in a season of living in the wilderness after the Lord delivered them from slavery. I’ve never understood what people meant when they would refer to their spiritual lives and say they were “in a season of wilderness,” until I recently went through my own. 

When senior year began in the fall, someone told me “Senior year is crazy because you start out with so many unknowns, and throughout the year, everything becomes known.”

This could not be anymore true for me this year. Flashback to August, I was already anticipating all of the changes that were going to happen this year. I am a creature of habit and do not like change, so I was dreading the long-awaited challenges that come with graduating college. This year has been categorized by exhausted prayers, confused direction, and difficulty trusting the Lord with my future. However, God has been so good to me. I didn’t realize how much I needed to walk with Him in a season of uncertainty. Even though it has been one of the hardest seasons of my life, I have also been pushed to grow in my relationship with Christ in new ways everyday.

I have spent my days consumed by my circumstances. I bombarded the Lord with so many questions -

“Where will I go to grad school? Will I even get in?”

“Am I getting married soon? If so, when?”

“Where am I going to live next year? Am I going to have to leave Athens?”

“What happens if none of this works out?”

I’m sure you have experienced similar seasons of questioning God’s plans for you. There were some days where I felt extremely thankful for all that God was doing in my life, and there were some spent in frustration feeling like the Lord wasn’t answering. Looking back, I can see how the Lord was walking closely beside me as my Friend, Deliverer, and Provider. The Lord diligently worked through idols in my heart and returned my gaze upon Him. Idols such as knowledge of the future, comfort, and control were torn down with each glimpse of His sovereignty. 

Reading through these chapters of scripture, I was encouraged over and over again by God’s grace when the Israelites were in the wilderness. He provided what they needed, listened to their prayers, and delivered them into the promised land.

And from there they continued to Beer; that is the well of which the Lord said to Moses, “Gather the people together, so that I may give them water.” Then Israel sang this song:

“Spring up, O well!—Sing to it!—

the well that the princes made,

that the nobles of the people dug,

with the scepter and with their staffs.”

And from the wilderness they went on to Mattanah,  and from Mattanah to Nahaliel, and from Nahaliel to Bamoth,  and from Bamoth to the valley lying in the region of Moab by the top of Pisgah that looks down on the desert. Numbers 21: 16-20

Just like I was questioning how the Lord would provide, the Israelites spent time wondering how the Lord would provide for them, or even why He was leading them through the wilderness. As I read this passage in Numbers one day, I saw how the Israelites missed the point of God’s provision. God provided a very basic need of theirs - water - and instead of praising Him, they praised the provision. God is right there, giving them water, and they begin to sing and worship the well instead of the God who gave it to them. They recognize the princes and the people as the source of the well instead of God. I was quickly convicted about how I was living the same way. I was desperately waiting on God to provide, and trying to manipulate my circumstances so that He would provide exactly what I wanted. Instead, the Lord began shifting my heart to praise Him, instead of just what I wanted Him to give me. The Lord has provided so much for me this year, and a lot of it looks different than I would’ve provided myself, but I am so grateful that His plans are better than mine. 

Deuteronomy 2:7 says “For the Lord your God has blessed you in all the work of your hands. He knows your going through this great wilderness. These forty years the Lord your God has been with you. You have lacked nothing.”

Every time the Israelites felt alone, they never were. Every time they felt like they didn’t have enough, they had exactly what they needed. It took me reading this for myself, for the Holy Spirit to reveal that this was true about me too. Each moment of feeling unheard by God, He was with me. Each moment of what I considered to be the “wilderness,” God was WITH me. How amazing is it that we have a God that is with His people! I lack nothing because Jesus has given me everything. Everything I have and don’t have is a result of God’s goodness to me. He is walking with me, constantly providing me with what I need each and every day.

We often think our circumstances need to change in order for us to be able to trust God or find joy, but in reality, we need a work of God’s grace to shift our perspective back to Him and allow the gospel to be enough for us. I hope and pray that as I graduate college and get married, as my circumstances continue changing, that the source of my life is the sure, unchanging gift of the gospel.

Christ died so that we could live. In His death and resurrection we find all that we need. As Paul says in Philippians 2:19, “God will supply every need of [ours] according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” As we celebrate Easter this weekend, let’s celebrate that this world does not determine our abundance, but our hope in Christ gives us abundant life for all of eternity. 

Thank you Jesus, for this life that I don’t deserve but can live because of your grace. You are always good to me.

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Lindsay is a fourth year speech therapy major at UGA, graduating in May! She is a worship intern and is went to Boston with Watty last summer! She is also involved in the Albers tribe on Mondays. She is passionate about the local church and seeing the way the Lord can use and minister to even the overlooked.

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Is God Good?

Andy Sanders // UGA Student & Worship Intern

My family used to fish with dynamite. No, really. Let me explain a little further. Back before dynamite was illegal for just anyone to buy, you used to be able to buy it in hardware stores. This was convenient for my dad, his cousins, and my great-grandfather. I can recall a particular story where they used it to fish one day. The idea is pretty simple: throw dynamite in the water, boom, and the shockwave stuns the fish, causing them to float to the top.

 One day, my dad, his uncle, and my great-grandfather were in a small boat on a river. Keep in mind, rivers have a current. Current causes things to float downstream. They were just about to start their first blast of the day to bring up fish. The uncle lit the dynamite, and threw it in the water. No big deal, a typical throw-your-dynamite-in-the-water situation. Now remember, I mentioned that current. This would have been helpful for the uncle to remember on that day, but unfortunately, he did not. In fact, he quickly realized this because he had thrown the dynamite upstream of their little boat. The next 30 seconds became very interesting. Shouting, prayers, and an ear-ringing boom followed with a splash of water on their faces. Luckily, no damage was done. The dynamite missed the boat, barely. The uncle was not invited to fish with dynamite again after that day.

            It’s a funny story, but I say all that as an analogy for this: sometimes in life we have questions, big questions about God. These sometimes don’t cause much effect, but there are other ones that float a little too close to the boat, and they have explosive results on our spiritual lives. It’s with questions like these that we wrestle. We must go beyond a 15 minute quiet time with God for these answers, and we search for them in Scripture, in chapters and books that have dust between the pages.

I have one of these questions I’d like to share with you. A question that I have wrestled with for a long time, and still do. Is God good? Seems simple doesn’t it? But I’ve learned that in the practice of our daily life, there’s nothing simple about it.

I’d like to take you back to Job, a book I’ve been reading lately. I use a good bit of Scripture here because I think its words have a lot more weight than mine. Many of us know the story of Job. A blameless man, upright before God. He was by today's standards, a “good guy.”

“Where have you come from?” the Lord asked Satan. Satan answered the Lord, “I have been patrolling the earth, watching everything that’s going on.” Then the Lord asked Satan, “Have you noticed my servant Job? He is the finest man in all the earth. He is blameless—a man of complete integrity. He fears God and stays away from evil.” Satan replied to the Lord, “Yes, but Job has good reason to fear God. 10 You have always put a wall of protection around him and his home and his property. You have made him prosper in everything he does. Look how rich he is! But reach out and take away everything he has, and he will surely curse you to your face!” “All right, you may test him,” the Lord said to Satan. “Do whatever you want with everything he possesses, but don’t harm him physically.” So Satan left the Lord’s presence. Job 1:7-12 NLT

And we see that Job loses everything, even his family. Yet, Job never cursed God or sinned by being angry. Job mourns after this, understandably so. He has a few smart-mouthed friends that come and mostly offer bad advice during his mourning. In all this, Job is confused, probably frustrated, unsure of why he is suffering. Then God finally speaks, and the answer isn’t what you might expect.

            Then the Lord answered Job from the whirlwind: “Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorant words? Brace yourself like a man, because I have some questions for you, and you must answer them. Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth? Tell me, if you know so much. Who determined its dimensions and stretched out the surveying line? What supports its foundations, and who laid its cornerstone as the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy? Who kept the sea inside its boundaries as it burst from the womb, and as I clothed it with clouds and wrapped it in thick darkness? For I locked it behind barred gates, limiting its shores. I said, ‘This far and no farther will you come. Here your proud waves must stop!’ Have you ever commanded the morning to appear and caused the dawn to rise in the east? Have you made daylight spread to the ends of the earth, to bring an end to the night’s wickedness? As the light approaches, the earth takes shape like clay pressed beneath a seal; it is robed in brilliant color. The light disturbs the wicked and stops the arm that is raised in violence. Have you explored the springs from which the seas come? Have you explored their depths? Do you know where the gates of death are located? Have you seen the gates of utter gloom?” Job 38: 1-17 NLT

 I’ll be honest, this isn’t what I expected to hear from God when I read this. The Lord goes on for another chapter or two showing His mighty power to Job. Job answers with,

 “I know that you can do anything, and no one can stop you. You asked, ‘Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorance?’ It is I—and I was talking about things I knew nothing about, things far too wonderful for me. You said, ‘Listen and I will speak! I have some questions for you, and you must answer them.’ I had only heard about you before, but now I have seen you with my own eyes. I take back everything I said, and I sit in dust and ashes to show my repentance.” Job 42:1-6 NLT

When I read this, it was humbling. Yet, I still didn’t understand God’s answer. Here Job is suffering, and God tells him how little Job is and awesome He is. It didn’t make sense. But, I kept searching.

Recently I keep coming back to one verse that brings me some solace.

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts. The rain and snow come down from the heavens and stay on the ground to water the earth. They cause the grain to grow, producing seed for the farmer and bread for the hungry. It is the same with my word. I send it out, and it always produces fruit. It will accomplish all I want it to,  and it will prosper everywhere I send it.” Isaiah 55:8-11 NLT

This reminds me of God’s response to Job. His plans are far beyond human comprehension, so much more complex than you could ever think or dream. Lately, I came across this verse during Jesus’ encounters.

 As Jesus was walking along, he saw a man who had been blind from birth. “Rabbi,” his disciples asked him, “why was this man born blind? Was it because of his own sins or his parents’ sins?” “It was not because of his sins or his parents’ sins,” Jesus answered. “This happened so the power of God could be seen in him.” John 1:1-3 NLT

 Jesus goes on to restore his sight. A man, born blind from birth, unable to choose his fate, is used by God to allow others to see the Lord’s power. For years this man begged, was mocked, lived in the dirt, and now God brings about sight and new life, not only to him, but to people thousands of years later that read that story and believe in the power of the gospel. Was the 20 or so years of suffering blind worth it? It would seem so, but this still didn’t answer my question. Job and the blind man are restored in the end. What about people that didn’t get to see God’s restoration in their lifetime, people who suffered and no good came of it, at least not in their lifetime? And what about suffering that doesn’t always result in a miracle, but rather a tragedy?

This brought me to a dark chapter in Israel's past. Exodus 32. It may be familiar to you. It’s the day Moses went to the mountain, and Israel stayed behind, making idols of gold images. Here Israel is after having been delivered, after receiving God’s favor and protection, and they mock the God who saved them from Egypt, choosing to credit their salvation from slavery to an idol-nothing more than a pile of rocks. What an unloyal, terrible, stubborn thing to do. But, it sounds like someone I know well, someone I see in the mirror every day. Moses comes down the mountain and sees what is taking place. What happens next is shocking.

Moses told them, “This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: Each of you, take your swords and go back and forth from one end of the camp to the other. Kill everyone—even your brothers, friends, and neighbors.” The Levites obeyed Moses’ command, and about 3,000 people died that day. Then Moses told the Levites, “Today you have ordained yourselves for the service of the Lord, for you obeyed him even though it meant killing your own sons and brothers. Today you have earned a blessing.” Exodus 32: 26-29

Three thousand were killed that day and paid for their sin with their lives. They died at the hands of their own neighbors and friends they escaped Egypt with. How is it God could allow such killing? It seems that the root of all this is sin. It was sin that led to this outcome. A similar event happens in Joshua 7. Achan, a warrior of Israel, takes spoils from a conquered city after God has commanded the people not to. Achan, along with all his family and all his possessions, are stoned and burned. In both accounts, the price for sin was literal death. Unlike Job or the blind man, Achan and the unbelieving Israelites sufferings did not end with a miracle or a blessing. It seems like rebellion against God, sin itself, brought about their ends. In fact, sin is a big reason the Israelites were even allowed to conquer so many of the Canaanite cities and kings. It wasn’t because God liked the nation of Israel any better or saw them as more righteous, but simply because the foreign cities were engrossed in sin.

“After the Lord your God has done this for you, don’t say in your hearts, ‘The Lord has given us this land because we are such good people!’ No, it is because of the wickedness of the other nations that he is pushing them out of your way. It is not because you are so good or have such integrity that you are about to occupy their land. The Lord your God will drive these nations out ahead of you only because of their wickedness, and to fulfill the oath he swore to your ancestors Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.” Deuteronomy 9:4-5 NLT

 I’m beginning to see a pattern. Where there is sin, there is suffering.

        And this makes sense, like the Scriptures say, “For the wages of sin is death…” Romans 6:23 NLT Not only did sin begin in the garden, but it spread to all. “When Adam sinned, sin entered the world. Adam’s sin brought death, so death spread to everyone, for everyone sinned.” Rom 5:12 NLT And again in James 1:15 it says, “These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.”

 But this leaves me confused. I understand sin leads to death, but what hope is there? Will we then all suffer because of sin or to bring God eventual glory like Job and the blind man? And even still, when Cain kills his brother Abel in Genesis, God says:

“You will be accepted if you do what is right. But if you refuse to do what is right, then watch out! Sin is crouching at the door, eager to control you. But you must subdue it and be its master.” Genesis 4:6 NLT

 But how can I be sin’s master? Surely I can’t master sin. I can try, sure, but it seems like it always gets the upper hand in life. This is when I realized, I wasn’t ever supposed to be the master over sin. I never could be. And this is where I found God’s grace. How fitting that my question of God’s character brings me back to the greatest thing about this whole story, His love.

  I came across these verses in the Old Testament about God’s faithfulness to show love.

 Where is another God like you, who pardons the guilt of the remnant, overlooking the sins of his special people? You will not stay angry with your people forever,  because you delight in showing unfailing love. Once again you will have compassion on us. You will trample our sins under your feet and throw them into the depths of the ocean! You will show us your faithfulness and unfailing love as you promised to our ancestors Abraham and Jacob long ago. Micah 7:18-20 NLT

 I found a similar verse in Nehemiah.

 But in your great mercy, you did not destroy them completely or abandon them forever. What a gracious and merciful God you are! “And now, our God, the great and mighty and awesome God, who keeps his covenant of unfailing love, do not let all the hardships we have suffered seem insignificant to you. Great trouble has come upon us and upon our kings and leaders and priests and prophets and ancestors—all of your people—from the days when the kings of Assyria first triumphed over us until now. Every time you punished us you were being just. We have sinned greatly, and you gave us only what we deserved.” Nehemiah 9:31-33 NLT

The verse that ties all this together for me is one about Jesus.

 For God saved us and called us to live a holy life. He did this, not because we deserved it, but because that was his plan from before the beginning of time—to show us his grace through Christ Jesus. And now he has made all of this plain to us by the appearing of Christ Jesus, our Savior. He broke the power of death and illuminated the way to life and immortality through the Good News. 2 Timothy 1:9-10 NLT

 God really did care in the end. In fact, he cared so much he paid the ultimate price, death. Death on a cross, a gruesome, and horrible suffering that few people will ever know. And it’s through this that I and all who believe have life. Suffering is a part of this life just as sin is. Not all suffering comes from sin, but usually, the two go hand in hand. But the suffering that exists in life pales in comparison to what is to come, the day when suffering is removed  and every burden is lifted in the presence of our Creator. We now can master over sin and suffering not because of our great power (as God showed Job), not because of our great works of righteousness (our sin made this impossible), but only because Jesus Christ, God, who suffered for our sake, has done what no human could ever do. God is good.

I know this answer isn’t complete, but it’s enough for me. I can’t fully understand an eternal God, and I don’t pretend to. If you struggle with this question like I do, search for these answers deeper on your own. Meditate on these verses. I believe God will show you the truth in the end. Everything I have written here is not for my own gain. I write these things because God has changed my life. He alone takes the glory. I leave you with this, “You are worthy, O Lord our God, to receive glory and honor and power. For you created all things, and they exist because you created what you pleased.” Revelations 4:11 NLT

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Andy is a third year agricultural engineer major at UGA. He is a worship intern and is going to Boston with Watty this summer! He is also involved in the Woodall tribe on Sundays. Serving the Lord and connecting with the people around him are some of his biggest passions.

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HAVE A COOL IDEA FOR A BLOG POST?

Contact Alexis Kelley or email college@watkinsville.org with your idea and we’ll talk about posting it here!

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