Perspective during the Pending
Jordan Matthews // UGA Student & Women’s Ministry Intern
What do you think of when you hear the word pending? Waiting for your phone to update? Waiting for a check to go into your bank account so you can buy groceries? Well, if you Google the word pending, one of the synonyms is “uncertain”. When I hear the word pending, I shiver, remembering a time in my life full of uncertainty.
A little backstory: In April 2023, I began the 12 month journey of applying to the United States Naval Academy. I would then juggle one of the hardest college applications throughout my senior year of high school. For 12 months, my portal said “pending” in big bold letters. That is, until April 15, 2024 at 9:40 p.m (very specific, I know), my portal FINALLY changed…it now said “turned down”. I layed in my bed, too stunned to move or speak. How could God let this happen? Was I not being faithful to something I so clearly felt Him calling me to? Did I waste my whole year? Words genuinely cannot describe the roller coaster of emotions that were the next several months. So, as you can imagine, the word pending holds an interesting place in my heart.
We often hear people in the Christian community talk about seasons of waiting, but what does the Bible say about waiting? As believers,what are we called to do during prolonged periods of waiting? Psalm 27:14 says “Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!” and Ecclesiastes 8:6 says “For there is a time and a way for everything, although man's trouble lies heavy on him.” We wait for the Lord, and He supplies what we need. Just think about the people from Biblical times. They waited some 2000 years for the promised Messiah, with only the Torah and words from prophets, and faithful believers remained. I honestly can’t imagine not having the whole Bible, not having the fulfilled promises of Jesus, and still remaining faithful to the Lord knowing that I may not live to see the Messiah. So why is it so hard for us to wait to get into college, wait to get married, or wait to get coffee in a Jittery Joe’s drive thru? Because we are human, and we all have fallen short of the glory of God. Society has programmed us with a “get it now” mentality. Why do you think Amazon is so popular? Or frozen meals for that matter? We want things to be easy for us. But God does not promise a quick and easy life with minimal challenges; in fact, He actually promises trials. He never said that life would be like having a frozen pizza for dinner; it’s more of a sit down restaurant where your stomach growls while waiting for food to be brought out. But thanks be to God that He is a promise keeper and He alone knows our full path and what our every need is! Billy Graham said “Each life is made up of mistakes and learning, waiting and growing, practicing patience and being persistent.” How true is this? Even though my experiences from last year were so incredibly painful, now that I can see the bigger picture, I now realize that I grew immensely from it. Navy will always be a part of my story, it’s a piece of who I am. We all have those seasons. They’re Ebenezers in our lives. Ebenezer means “stone of help”. So an Ebenezer in our life is a time of most likely immense pain and hurt, but we remember God’s help during that season. We see this in 1 Samuel 7.
Even when God presents us with challenging seasons, He always provides. He provides strength, community, and the truth that is in His word. So now that we know what God says about timing, how do we truly apply this to our lives? If I’m being completely honest, the answer I have is imperfect because I am imperfect and I am still wrestling with being content with the plans God has for me. I vividly remember 2 weeks after I got the news from Navy, I was supposed to help lead worship for youth group. I felt so hypocritical that I would be on stage in front of a hundred students singing about God’s provision when I didn’t fully believe that He was providing for me. I wrestled with God for several months, and it wasn’t pretty. I remember saying out loud in my car “Ok God, you took away Navy, you took away the hopes of going to UGA in the fall (turn up Spring admits), and on top of all this, you took away a relationship in my life…it’d be really helpful to know what your plan is.” Not my finest moment of faith, but it shows that our human hearts desire to be in control of our lives (Ezekial 33). I’ve learned that when we start feeling in control, God takes that away within minutes. God uses experiences to refine us and make us depend solely on Him. With perspective, I see how He opened so many doors during that process, He comforted me during sleepless and scary nights, and He reminded me of His steadfast love when I didn’t know if I could keep going. Many months later I can say that God does not “pend” our lives. We do not wait in vain. God takes the most challenging circumstances and shows us that He is Lord over all and He is beyond our concept of space and time. Isn’t that crazy?! God reveals His plans for us as we continue to abide in Him. Hold fast to Jeremiah 29:11 during hard seasons because God really does know the plans for us, and He will guide us every step of the way. He is not leaving you pending like a phone updating, He is guiding and refining you.
Well, I hope you found this encouraging. We all have Ebenezers filled with pain and God’s faithfulness at the same time. Remember that God is for us; who can stand against us?(Romans 8:31) What may seem like failure in our eyes is just God saying “not right now, I have better things ahead for you, just wait.”
Jordan is a freshman at UGA studying Exercise and Sports Science hoping to make a career in Physical Therapy or the military. She is a Women’s intern at Watty and works at East Athens Physical Therapy. Jordan also loves swimming, coffee, traveling, or making fried rice.
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