Navigating the [Single] 20-Something Life

Oct 23

Jessica Mathisen // Development Director at Athens Pregnancy Center

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” - James 4:13-15

We like to make plans. Whether we call ourselves a planner or a free spirit, each one of us makes plans in our hearts and minds. We have expectations about the way our life is going to go, the things we are going to do, and the places we are going to be. Proverbs 16:9 tells us “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” In college, everything we do is determined by a specific course of action. We take each semester and plan it according to class and work schedules, volunteer and extracurricular responsibilities, and of course, the ever-changing social calendar.

But what happens when we are no longer in school? What happens when we leave the safe haven of our comfortable university lifestyle where all of our best friends are in the same town and our time is what we make it? What then? I don’t know about you, but the entrance into “real” life was quite a rude awakening to me. It was difficult to find my way and to determine what my priorities could and should be in my post-grad life.

Gone were the late nights of talking with friends and watching movies in the dorm. Gone were the last-minute plans just because. Enter: loneliness. Disappointment. Confusion. Heartache.

We pursue the life portrayed for us on screens, and we end up all the more dissatisfied by chasing less than what we were made for.

Navigating the 20-something life is not for the faint of heart. It is increasingly and alarmingly easy to compare our lives to those around us with the advent of social media. We know what everyone else is doing throughout their days, and we wonder if our lives matter as much. We see others’ lives and want what they have, not seeing the nitty gritty or the tears that may be hiding behind the illuminated screen. And we yearn. We yearn for authenticity and community and connection. And yet we pursue the life portrayed for us on screens, and we end up all the more dissatisfied by chasing less than what we were made for.

I was listening to a podcast the other day in which a guest stated that the life of a single person can be constantly fluid. There can be seasons of change that never seem to end as other friends marry, have children, and continue their lives while yours seems to stay the same. And that can be hard. But what she said so eloquently and sincerely is that your life as a single person does not matter any less for the kingdom of God. She went on to explain that the fruit of a Christ-follower in the Old Testament was children, but in the New Testament, it’s disciples. And there is nothing “less than” about a life surrendered to God by someone who’s committed to making disciples, even if they are not in the form of biological children.

“The fruit of a Christ-follower in the Old Testament was children, but in the New Testament, it’s disciples”

James writes to the church, “Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.” Every single thing that happens in our lives can be worked for good for those who love the Father. (Romans 8:28) So whether you’re looking at the days ahead and are anticipating marrying the person of your dreams, still holding out for your dream job, or just trying to make it through organic chemistry, know that He is with you and He loves you. You are not alone, and you are held by the God of the universe, who is crazy about you and longs to be known by you, His precious treasure.

-Jessica

Jessica Mathisen is a former Watty college student and lives in Athens with her husband, two kids, and silly dog. She currently serves as the Development Director at Athens Pregnancy Center. A former elementary teacher and former WFBC staff member, she loves reading, writing, and eating good Mexican food. Her passion is to share God's love through writing and relationships. You can find her books, Proverbs 31, Already Chosen, and Choosing Contentment on Amazon.
Follow Jessica on Instagram: @jessicanmathisen